Recently, I was told that “women who grow their hair long at a certain age are doing it because they want to be young again.” That statement forced a rebuttal out of me. I responded, “I don’t let my hair grow because I want to be young again. Or even that I want to be attractive to men. I do it because I like it that way.”
What I find disturbing is that yet again, one woman has judged another by her looks. Surmised the intent of her offensive action and quantified her in the category she claims all women who grow their hair needs to be. Shamed into cutting it. If you don’t you must be “looking for attention” or feel you look bad and are covering it up “to look younger.” Why can’t women stop the constant judgment of each other?
Why does there need to be a conversation about this topic. I think if your hair is thinning you might want to cut it. If it’s damaged, maybe then too. But if you think you’re going to look better with shorter hair because you think you look good with long hair think again. In my opinion women have different faces and let’s face it. Hair goes with the face.
And why not? Why not look your best? When did that become such a bad thing? When did putting yourself together mean that you lack character? And whose place it for these judging women to sit on their throne and choose who should and who should not cut their hair, and at what age that should be done. Did I miss that election?
Most often I find the most critical people are the ones who feel as though they are entitled to frown upon anything they do not deem morally just. Doesn’t that say more about them than the women who suffer under their unjust rule? Is this a global issue?
Google it. Do some research. You will find page after page of New York telling people to cut their hair after 40. You will find a societal narrative of what’s morally appropriate as though at a certain age we should be put away, never thought of as attractive, etc. Our lives should be over. There’s no reason to get dressed in the morning. No reason to think we should even comb our hair. We’re not supposed to want to be attractive. Our time is up.
Wow. This completely astounds me. I wonder when someone criticizes another person if they truly understand that someone’s judging them too. Maybe not of the same things but certainly for no just reason. So, my ultimate question is, why do women feel entitled to put down another reason, to tag them with labels, to force them to fit into a fake society where the rules don’t apply to everyone but in their minds should. Who’s logic should we adopt? One or many. Should we vote on this so all women can understand the ambiguous expectations in which now they have no idea exist? What is it going to take for the women who judge other women to stop.
Here’s my thinking. If you’re constantly wondering what everyone else is doing it says more about you and your unhappiness than it does about the person you’re judging.
DOMINIQUE BROWNING wrote an article for the New York Times. “Long hair is not the appropriate choice of grown-ups. It says rebellion. Hillary Rodham Clinton softens her do, and sets off a bizarre Howl of Angry Inches, as if she had betrayed some social compact. Well, my long hair is indeed a declaration of independence. I am rebelling, variously, against Procter & Gamble, my mother, Condé Nast and, undoubtedly, corporate America in general. Whereas it used to be short hair that was a hallmark of being a liberated woman — remember the feminist chop? I do; I did it — these days, long hair is a mark of liberation….I might note, with a sense of wonder, that Europeans are much more comfortable with long hair on women of a certain age. But then again, they’re more comfortable with women of a certain age in general.”
I agree. I am a rebel damn it and I will not bow down to an enforced ridiculous rule. For the record, I have a long face. When my hair is short it extends my long jaw line. So I shorten my face when my hair is long. I do NOT wear it long to attract men. I wear it long because I LIKE IT. It’s not about youth sisters. It’s what I am used to. That’s just me, but seriously, when is enough – enough?
Reba Nietert 