Treasured Moments

There is nothing in the world quite like a moment when you realize that you’re happy. Happiness is not a constant feeling, and for most this illusive emotion evades from daily life. I think that in the movie, “Yours, Mine and Ours” after Lucille Ball desperately tries to explain to her daughter the fundamentals of joy but fails miserably; Henry Fonda picks up the dialog by explaining that great moments arrive from putting the effort of all the drudgery and the boring is what leads to the big events! In other words, quantity no matter how mundane brings quality! You cannot have one without the other.

So imagine my surprise when I am sitting with incredible women and I realize I’m smiling! And I think “wow it’s been a long time since that’s happened!” a genuine real happy joyful smile!

What’s even better is that they were smiling and we were sharing openly and honestly and real and laughing until we couldn’t stand it anymore. Each of us had issues and extreme stories to share and opinions and comments… It was human compassion in motion! A connection stronger than time and distance full of passion and empathy and we were all there wishing that happy moments could just last a whole lot longer!

We worked together in one of the worst jobs that I have ever had! Not because of the work but because of the dictator suppression of a power motivated woman who I believe if possible would actually blow fire up someone’s butt to get them to do her bidding! We came out close friends and none of us work there anymore. The strife gave us the blessing of forming a unity against the unjust but it’s not anything we dwell on anymore. It was the basic foundation of friendship that’s been tested over time and matured into life long confidential bonding that all women wish they had! I honestly regard myself blessed!

Today you’re going to have to finish the audit paperwork and financial matters and clean the house, make the dinner, and tend to the animals, but stop right now and schedule that spa or dinner with the gals! 1. Because you sure as hell deserve it and 2. Because believe it or not it’s been too long between your ultimate moments of “happy!”

I highly recommend time to fill up your cup be because when you do…it runneth over!


Affirmation vs Condemnation

Often, I am reminded that I am flawed. The people who love me the most tease me incessantly about tiny matters such as forgetfulness or even so far as to pick on me because they prefer comedies as opposed to drama.

For the most part, I’m an easy going individual who by the way, doesn’t ever poke fun at someone else’s shortcomings. To me, it’s just not funny, but then again, neither is sitting on a toilet but Hollywood keeps putting that crap in movies; so I can admit that it might just be me who doesn’t appreciate the continuous banter back and forth about things that in the great scheme of things really shouldn’t bother anyone. I shrug off the jokes until it feels like verbal bashing and that’s when I put a stop to it.

In today’s world we have so many TV shows insisting that we hold ourselves accountable for our behavior! So much do that kids are firming absolute resolution about the actions the see adults make and the outcome of all this is that humans are no longer allowed error.

The sin of Adam. Let’s go back to the origin to understand that we are ALL imperfect! None of us better or worse than the other. While we may question someone’s motives or have deep regrets for their behavior the truth is that in the eyes of our Lord we are all sinners and no one sin is greater than another!

So why do we pridefully challenge each other? I have theories that it’s in an effort to elevate our own self with, but honestly I think it’s because people feel entitled to tell someone how their actions affected them. When in reality the refuse to be held accountable if the situation were reversed! People just don’t like getting their hand slapped, and many a friendship has been lost because one or the other cannot handle the 4th and final stage of friendship: drawing boundaries.

Does that mean people have grown to be selfish? Yeah I think so to a certain extent but my hypotheses is that people have good intensional but they are immature in execution! People are intolerant and judgmental as a common body and so now people are guilty and must prove innocence. A foundation of freedoms this country was built in is lost in world void of loving understanding and acceptance because we’re all too busy giving people we love a “reality check” instead of making them feel secure in the knowledge that even if they make mistakes the love doesn’t fade.

It might be more like raising children but few have the maturity needed to be a genuine source of affirmation without an agenda or motive or conclusion! Love for the sake of choosing to lift a life up rather than condemn it. A man or a woman who feels loved will never have the need to find it elsewhere!


The Art Surviving

A long time ago, I developed a mechanism to deal with pain. I would shut my eyes and tell myself to forget. Whatever it was that scared me or made me fearful or caused me great pain all I had to do was tell myself it didn’t happen. I got so good at this over the years that I could easily process through grief or anger or even abandonment much faster then people around me. What this did was shock every one I knew because they either felt like I didn’t care or they felt like I had the ability to forgive easier than they did. Neither was the case!

The reason that I process quicker is not because I have all the courage in the world. It’s because I am so afraid to feel the pain that I turn it off. I cannot allow myself the luxury of being sad for long periods of time, because to me that is the ultimate sign of weakness…

I know this to be a flawed hypothesis, because over the years I have been to extensive therapy and I have learned that when you suppress the bad memories and/or the pain you also suppress the good memories!

It’s not that I am not willing to go through the pain at my age. I think I have a evolved into a master of masking my feelings so much that I cannot identify how I feel let alone have the capacity to really focus on a healthier mental state of mind.

The worst part about self reflection is the moment when you realize that you may never be able to fundamentally change the brokenness, the victimization, the actions of another, whether evil or not. Or whether those actions were intentional from those who profess to love you and end up hurting you.

Sometimes it’s best to know that you can forgive, and move on. Some things cannot be fixed. Some actions can’t be taken back. People are just people. We are all have fears, doubts, and actions we wish we didn’t take!

Even though those actions hurt me deeply I cannot use that pain to try and understand my future any longer!

I am going to have to figure out a way to have grace and forgiveness in my heart all the time not just part time and to take that grace and forgiveness and look at somebody with merciful eyes and give every single person that I see a chance of newness, freshness and genuine sincerity. I think that’s just what I’m going to have to do…. because right now, that’s all I can do!