April 2019 – Reba Nietert

This morning I was awakened by two adorable children of mine. The first said for the second time in two weeks, “I am sick.” Sure enough, a temperature quest proved her declaration. The second screamed, “Zeus (our predatory cat) has ANOTHER bunny!” of course I picked it up and saved it’s life with a lecture along the way of how I warned it earlier that week to stay hidden during the day. Regrettably, bunnies don’t listen well. Same little angel then proclaimed, “My phone is BROKEN AGAIN!” In the most annoying 13-year-old attitude she could muster she then responded to me saying, “Phones just don’t break!” with, “Mine did!” I sighed heavily. I plugged the phone into my charger, commanded she consider the phone worthless and figure out another way to contact friends and sat down for my first cup of coffee.

The phone rang. It was my husband. He was frustrated with the insurance company again and needed my help to find a document. He is the greatest man I will ever know, I should proceed with that. Sometimes his situation drives me nuts! When someone has an issue with health or choice or whatever, don’t you believe it is their responsibility to forge a path of correction? If so, how would one go about this? I find the most intricate arguments are when one or both partners believe that the other is overextending, taking for granted or just flat out not paying attention. Ah, such is the case with all relationships. Mine although nearly as perfect as one could be, is simply not perfect.

I find myself taking a back seat to the needs of those around me, and even though it’s a mother’s necessity (it’s written somewhere I am sure) it is not always an easy pill to swallow. In the words of my 12-year-old (the youngest sick one,) “It’s damn hard!”

Listen, I count my blessings, desperately try to find favor in God, and all the maternal commandments of a wife and mom, but every now and then, I would like to not have to worry about getting my hair done because a kid needs this, or cannot get my nails done because he needs that. When someone is learned enough to visualize the needs are being met for everyone and yet when the well has run dry, well, I wonder why they don’t see it’s a struggle and mom needs a break?

These are the times that are necessary to build love, trust, and companionship in others but it is also the necessary tool to be YOUR VOICE and USE YOUR WORDS to command the time and respect you deserve. You matter. Your feelings matter. It’s not selfish to make them matter to someone. After all, the people in your life are making their needs matter to you. I encourage you to tell your story.

My name is Rebecca and I do just that. I help people navigate through tough emotions and put words to those feelings. I can help you write your story one tiny black mark at a time.

For now take care of you. Then give me a ring….

Rebecca Nietert

Last weekend, I was asked to audition for the Dallas Dance Follies for seniors. At first, I couldn’t imagine myself a brand new senior, dancing on stage in front of people. I wondered, doesn’t my friend know me? Then I realized she knows me pretty well. She was asking me to come into her world of the joy that dance brings her, hoping that it would infect my life in the same way.

This past year, one of my ‘character goals’ is to be more present, more in the moment, more joy, more happiness and the more I do, the more fun I have. No longer stuck in the rut of my discontent, I spent the year striving to stretch out of my comfort zones and into the person I want to be. A thriving well rounded, exceptionally great physical condition, smiling happy individual. I decided to take my friend up on her offer and I auditioned.

What surprised me the most in the first of only two audition days, was that I really lost the art of dance. Once upon a time, this was all I lived for. I was good at it. Exceptionally talented in the art of provocative movement. No longer did I possess this strength. The second thing that struck me is how daunting that reality left my confidence. I had never known that kind of physical disappointment with my own body before. The idea that my body couldn’t move where my mind wanted it to go in the way I saw it playing out in my head was absurd! This was me? I made a living doing this!

I left after several grueling hours and not being able to complete the dance steps. I was humiliated and I allowed that to fester deep anger. I was disappointed I said yes. I was equally pissed that I was asked to go. I remained in my pity party until my husband walked me through the logic of the lunacy that my thoughts tortured me. My confidence was shaken. I couldn’t make sense of what was happening and the emotions I keep well tied and placed in their own compartment ran amuck and showed themselves in ways I would rather not reveal. I was a mess!

Naturally, when the second day came, I said there is no way I am doing this. It was time to put this senior body into a leotard and tights and prance around as though I did when I was in my early 20’s. Heck no! I gave myself a hundred reasons not to go. The first being I would have to dance in a leotard! The many that followed all had to do with how someone else was going to look at me and judge me. Then I got it. Who cares!

I went to that audition, and I may not be picked, but what I will have is the fact that I met some really talented and marvelous women. I had the time of my life when I decided to lay down all my preconceived notions about how it should turn out. Once I dealt with the fact and only the data and did only what I could do, I found out that once I was really out of my headspace, I had a great time. The steps were a whole lot easier and I really enjoyed myself.

That’s how life is sometimes. Actions we believe will be painfully difficult end up being our biggest reward. When a person no longer allows their own emotions to undermine their success, the word, ‘overwhelming’ doesn’t come in to play anymore. It holds no more power. As I push through the intense to-do list of my week, I need to remind myself of what actually is a priority, what I can lay down and balance with fun, and what I can ask someone to help with. Life is about the dance. I hope you find your rhythm today and that it brings you as much peace and joy as it should.

Take care, Rebecca Nietert. To learn more reach me at http://www.RebaNietert.com or contact me at for publishing or writing advice.

Month: April 2019

Mom is No Martyr!

The Showgirl Stretch!