Human Interest, Inspiration, Journal Entry, Opinion, Reflection

Love Begets Love…

I will never understand the woman who gets offended and instead of discussing whatever it was that offended her, she screams, blocks you, and then doesn’t listen to the other side. To me, it’s like a child. If a woman is shown love, then she must resolve the conflict with love & understanding. If not, the relationship is selfish, one-sided, and doomed. There are some temper tantrums you just cannot come back from. Sad 🥺 but true.

Recently, someone acted this way to me. She said quite simply, “I spoke my mind.” She felt that’s all she had to do, and it didn’t matter how it was delivered. She felt she had a right to speak her mind and not be accountable for her emotions or the things she said poorly or violent in anger. The person to whom the anger was directed, was supposed to acquiesce to whatever she believed, and that was that. Everything would be fine if nobody contradicted her. When I tried to explain she was taking things in my life personally, I was promptly blocked, mocked, publicly chastised, and then called passive-aggressive for trying to be graceful through it. I needed to work on how I would handle it. The more of the conversation continued the more insults came my way, and none were returned. Didn’t matter. She got two other people involved and they began acting the same way. Eventually, it became a witch hunt. And by that I mean the women whom I showed love to desperately tried to “find something” to be offended about. It’s the old adage… “When you look hard to find the offense, you won’t have to look long.” No person is perfect, so make sure that you’re above reproach before you condemn.

What I find is confusing is that the people can pretend to be professional or even loving or even fairly put together well, but in essence, for those of us that do not bear the gift of desertion, they can often be a brooding storm just waiting to burst. It’s OK to remind yourself, that your friendship has value when you find people like this in your life. It’s OK to affirm yourself, and not listen to hateful words. It’s OK to stay on your path and always do the right thing despite how somebody else acts. That’s what being a woman of character is and then it’s OK to light the match and set the bridge on fire if it continues.

“SUN IS RISING” tomorrow is a new day.

Inspiration

Worthy of Love, by Jacob Nightingale

“We instinctually measure our self-worth based on our perceived value to the tribe that surrounds us, and unfortunately, I am a rocket scientist on a football team.” 

Find your Tribe, and there you will discover your value. Find your willingness, and there you will decide your worth. 

We were all innocent once. A child; vulnerable and uncertain. We struggled to make sense of the world. Nothing was certain except for our undying love and devotion to those we valued. We gave our trust freely to those we loved, without reservation. We would do anything to please them, and give anything to see them happy. There is no greater devotion than the love of a child and every child wants to believe they are loved equally in return. A child is always seeking feedback and reassurance, because they want to know one thing—if they too, are worthy of love. Our body may have grown and our spirit has matured, but that child still wants to know, “am I worthy to be loved?”

Worthiness is measured, not by how much you are loved, or by how much love you have been given. Worthiness is measured by how much love and devotion you are willing to give.

A child is born willing to give ALL their love and devotion; no one is more worthy of love than a child.

Like all children, we’re all pure potential. Our Will is the very essence of our potential and we are free to create ourselves however we choose. Is there a such thing as worthless potential? 

No one is worthless; we are all a work in progress, and our progress, our worth, is based solely on our willingness to learn, grow, and improve.  

While we can measure our “value” based on our past contributions and accomplishments, it’s solely based on another’s appreciation and value for what we gave. However, our worthiness, is only effectively measured by our willingness to give, and whether we did the best we could with what we had.

Are you worthy of being a friend, parent, leader, partner, spouse, doctor, student, artist, author…?

Love is the devotion to creating value, contributing, supporting, actualizing dreams, and nurturing growth, improvement, creation, and connection. If your worthiness is based on your willingness to give love and devotion, you need only to ask, “How much love and devotion am I willing to give?” This is your worthiness.    

Are you worthy of Leading? 

How much are you willing to give those that choose to follow you; to nurture, inspire, guide and support their growth and improvement?

Are you worthy of being a parent?

How much are you willing to give your child love and devotion; to support their development, to offer comfort and safety, and to nurture their growth?

Are you worthy of being a friend or romantic partner?

How much are you willing to give love and devotion to the relationship, to nurture each other’s growth and aspirations? 

Are you worthy of creating success?

How much are you willing to give to reach your objectives?

Are you worthy of love and devotion from another?

How much love and devotion are you willing to give?

While we cannot state another’s worth, we can decide if it’s “worth it” to give. When you give to someone, you are investing a part of yourself to them, and for someone to be worth it, they must be willing to accept and willing to invest. If someone is unwilling to give, how can they be worthy of what we are giving? If they are unwilling to grow and improve or to contribute and nurture growth, how can they be worthy of our support and contribution? If someone is unwilling to give love and devotion, is it worth it to give them ours? We cannot allow ourselves to give to those that are unwilling, and if we are unwilling, we are not worthy of what others are willing to give. 

It’s amazing how this simple shift in perception can change everything; it can break down the chains of self-doubt, worry, and insecurity. You don’t need to ask whether someone else finds you worthy. You can measure your own worthiness and the worthiness of those you keep in your life. If you are willing to give love, you’re worthy to be loved, and you are worth every ounce of love you have in your heart. That small child can find peace and comfort, knowing that no matter how much they were cast aside, forgotten, or unfairly challenged, they always have been and always will be “worthy of love.”

amwriting, Inspiration

Lay Down Your Worry…Again

In all the busyness that has become my life, sometimes I forget to blog. Life takes a turn, emotions become raw and you drudge through without thinking about how you feel in the moments that unfold without your permission and way beyond your control. In short, it takes a minute to reserve the moment to reflect on what’s happening in this season.

For me, my son went off to the army two months ago. My daughter began a new job. my husband and I bought a new house. My gifted child was failing two grades, the middle child was not turning in homework and the youngest child has decidedly abdicated her life. The fallout from such things create enough stressors that can’t be described in great detail in a simple blog.

Suffice it to say that my emotions have run deep, high, out of control and sometimes triggered without my permission. I have from time to time wanted to cry. If you know anything about me or have read any prior blogs you will know that it is almost an impossibility to allow myself the luxury of tears. After all the guilt-ridden condemnation from others lies deep within my psyche stating that my feelings are not as important as others are solidly ingrained that I am quite literally often sick to my stomach.

I find myself angry and sad because it’s ever so unresolved and out of control. I think of myself as somebody who forgives and moves on quickly, but I think that’s true only when I’m able to process through the emotions I have in such a way that allows me to grow into the stability of who I have become. You can imagine the discourse I am having while struggling with these interpersonal issues.

Here is what I know, everything is going to be alright. It always is. This glimpse in this hurried season is merely a blimp in the span of 80+ years that will hopefully become my life. Big picture? This too shall pass! How to handle it? Focused, driven to be kind, tolerant, excepting and ultimately find unconditional love.  Now, if I could just get there…

Life is about choices. Period. We can choose to dwell in the muck, We can choose to be selfish, we can choose to be narcissistic, we can choose to be angry, we can choose to be sad, we can choose to allow all of this to create who we are or we can choose to lay the angst down, give it to God and hope for the best. I made a decision today to do the latter.

I hope you join me. And I hope somewhere in the midst of all that you removed from your life, somehow we can break bread, drink wine and give it closure.

To learn more about a visit:

http://www.rebanietert.com

amwriting

You’re Invited-DFW 2019 Author Gala

On September 27, 2019, we will be hosting the largest Author gala where all literary professionals come together for one social event. The idea is to encourage, inspire, and lift up a fellow author by sharing his or her work. In turn, they will share yours.

Our mission is to be the number one resource for authors in DFW.  Our platform is designed to provide authors with connections to contractors such as:

  • Illustrators
  • Editors
  • Cover Designers
  • Formatters
  • Coaches
  • Publishers
  • Agents
  • and all literary professionals.

Our goal is to connect professionals with the authors who need them. In addition to networking, we have designed fun, intellectual gatherings for like-minded individuals in social typesetting to interact, share, support and encourage.  We will host a variety of events including networking, “tea-time,” one on one meetings to face challenges head-on, instruction, and all kinds of support.  Our annual Writer’s Retreat is not to be missed. Please feel free to check our online calendar to see the upcoming events, and if at any time you would like to participate in the festivities please subscribe to our email and consider becoming a founding member.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/networking-with-the-author-gala-tickets-70017970635

amwriting, books, Human Interest, Inspiration, Opinion, politics, Reflection, Revelations

An Army Family Now – Momma’s Tears

The other day I watched my 24-year-old independent son join the Army. I watched him realize he had a fully successful independent life that he was giving up, to be owned by our U.S. Government for our freedoms. I watched the pride in his eyes. I felt pride in return, and then I cried… for days.

 Today I am better. Filled with some purpose for my own life. 

I keep thinking about him and the last moments that we talked about. I replay every conversation, everything he said to me, and why he chose to go into the Army. 

I suppose to some, I seem ungrateful, maybe not appreciative of his own choice. You need to know that I am very proud that my son would give up his freedom for mine. That in and of its self is honorable. 

I cannot completely identify the pensively, the apprehension, the fear, the understanding that not all boys go in and come home; and I suppose it’s because of the things I have seen and the things that happened to me, that has not happened to the majority of people. I, more than anyone understands how quickly a life can be over and how quickly life can leave you devastated in despair! 

I’m not clear on why the tears continue to fall… I just know that I can’t stop them on my own, but what I don’t need to be told is to shove my feelings aside or be told my feelings shouldn’t matter or be told that I have no right to feel the way I do. I keep thinking of the Bible passage about God forcing Abraham to sacrifice his son on the alter because to me, that’s what this feels like. My faith needs to be as strong as His! 

We are an Army family now and as such, there’s a reality we can’t lie about. My good friend, Dennis, said to me, “He is defending an idea. An idea that is enshrined in the Declaration of independence and the Constitution. The idea that we all have the same inalienable rights. He is there to defend our way of life. Only two people in history to offer their life for yours are Jesus Christ and the American Servicemen.”

I used to believe in idealism too. Sadly I believe and this is just my belief that Americans have moved so past “inalienable rights“ and become so incredibly selfish that I have no faith the president who is our commander-in-chief above all others, will have any less regard for the American population. I digress because this is not about my pride for him, his pride for his country, the idealism of America nor even the pompous jackass who runs it. This is about my love for my boy, plain and simple.

Human Interest

When Is Enough – Enough?

I’m up late again, with worry running through my brain. It’s not enough to worry about my son going into the Army or even the relationships my kids have. Add bills, commitments, interpersonal workings, cultivating relationships, a marriage, ailing family members and animals and a whole slew of stressors and you have one wide-awake woman!

It’s not really my fault. I wasn’t taught how to manage my fears. Just to submerge myself in the worry of it all until I have just had enough! Then and only then does courage take a foothold. The cycle is similar to passive/aggressive but offers more angst along the journey.

Life I have learned has a funny way of smacking you right in the face when you least expect it. Sometimes it hurts so badly that it shakes the very will to live and other times its just movement to get you pointed in the right direction. Either way, to most, including me, sometimes change can be downright painful.

The question is what to do about people within a company who go out of their way to hurt people for selfish reasons? What makes someone want to hurt another person? Why do they do it and then hide behind others to get their way. Why do some people initiate harm and then are surprised by the outcome? My son says it’s a ‘disconnect’ with people. That they haven’t learned to be compassionate.

I have to ask, where did parental teaching go? Surely every mom wants their child to be kind? Was that not instilled or did a collective group of kids become of age, and decide amongst themselves that rules of logic, kindness, respect no longer matter? Have the Kapernicks of the world tainted the general public to the point where there is no sense of independent intellectual thought and thereby believe it’s okay to act like a two-year-old? This question plagues me. Why do people find joy in harming others?

I ponder these questions. I stay up late at night wondering what on earth I can do to make an impact. Call out a false prophet? Call a manipulator one to their face? Hold someone accountable? What if one does that and all that does is cause the offender more anger and more brokenness? Do we just ignore it? Leave it alone? Move on? Please, tell me if you know that answer because when I point it out, I seem to be the only one burned.

Today someone sent me a horrible email. I wanted to make sure I felt the weight of his ability to bully me into compliance for posting a bad review. Yet, HIS company keeps contacting me! Threatening me! Proving my point how unbelievably inept they are. I just don’t understand people. Someone could have reached out, solved the problem, but nope. Just more intimidating tactics. It makes my stomach ache for a time when people were plainly civil to each other.

Well, I have written it down. Caused my brain to rest so late at night I will fall asleep. G’night y’all. Sleep well.

Uncategorized

Laughing At Myself

The other day I asked two besties, age 13, to walk with me. They asked if my youngest, age 12 would be coming along. I answered she wasn’t home but if she was we would walk twice as fast because she naturally has speed some of the best athletes want. They laughed, we went walking.

Low and behold guess who came home, put her stuff down and ran down the street, around the corner and caught up with us. You guessed it, Laura is her name. Well, we began to make a game out of who could get around her and wear her out. By then night fell and we were all getting tired 30 minutes into the walk with 15 more to go. It was dark out.

It was my turn and I ran as fast as I could through the grass but when I did my foot fell into a divot in the grass. The idea that I should have been able to chase her in the dark was preposterous but prideful, sure I’d show her I still had it; face planted knees first in the dirt! I was humiliated! I knew I’d done it to myself. No one but me to blame, I laughed my ass off!

The girls were mortified my knees were bleeding but I reassured everything was okay. All of the joined me in hysterically laughing about how ridiculous I must have looked. Of course, the dangling of June bugs off my shirt didn’t help. They helped me up and dusted me off and I hobbled home–embarrassed!

Sometimes you can’t take yourself too serious! I was prideful, wanted to be young, show them I still had it, and it quite literally but me in the face. I could have given into the failure of my attempt or I could just make light of a very bad situation. I chose the latter.

My knees still hurt, but not as much as my pride. Next time humbleness is in order! ❤️

Thanks for listening!

Rebecca Nietert

Journal Entry

Cat Reminds Me About Parenting

My lovely husband put up a gazebo outside my back door just before my pool so that I could put my outdoor wicker furniture underneath. There’s a lot of foliage in my backyard, and we were struggling with the debris affects, when the wind blew. Every time I try to sit on the beautiful outdoor furniture I had to clean it first. So my husband bought me this highly expensive portable gazebo, that not only gives me the opportunity to write outside because I can see the screen, but allows me to have shade from the hot Texas sun.

I keep a pretty tidy house, so my cat has realized when I put something new in my house or in the backyard. He will typically sniff it until every inch of it has been covered with his nose and determined that it is not life-threatening. So this morning when he came out to inspect the gazebo, I watched with considerable attention to him arch his back, his ears shift back-and-forth, and the dilation of his eyes. He wanted to investigate.

My cat also climbs trees and jumps from the tree to the roof, back to the portico and then down. Well, he got up on the portico and decided it would be a good idea to investigate the top of the gazebo via a flying squirrel trapeze act sort of thing. Naturally, he flew from the portico to the corner of the fabric gazebo and realized his mistake instantly. He had not taken into consideration that it might be a material other than the firm surface that he’s used to flying around in our backyard. He just blindly leaped for it!

He fell hard! I am extremely thankful that cats fall on their feet because he dropped like a ton of bricks. The very first thing I wanted to do was jump up and see if he was OK. But I knew if I did that, he would run away. He walked gingerly away from the scene of the crime, limping on one of his front legs and one of his back legs. Probably from a prior altercation with another cat in the neighborhood? Because it’s only about a 7-foot drop and cats can do that pretty easily. Or at least mine can.

I’m sitting out underneath my new gazebo, drinking my very lovely hazelnut coffee and staring off into the calmness of my pool that is wrapped in beautiful green and floral foliage, and suddenly it hit me that my cats actions reminded me of my three teens and two young adults, who in my opinion, continue the same fearful leap out into the world; based on mere faith.

And then it hit me that maybe what I should do is just watch. Stay out of it? Let them fall? They know that their footing should be on solid ground and yet they continue to put their feet on fabric. They continue to leap out and test their boundaries and while it is ever so dangerous with humans versus cats, it is vitally important that they learn how to limp on their own. It’s important that they learn their lessons. That they understand what they can and cannot do. That limitations beset with natural consequences. Sigh…

I love my cat so much that sometimes I really worry about him. I worry about the fact that a car will hit him. Or that the bobcat in our neighborhood will get him. Or even that a neighbor will fall in love with him, and put him inside their home and take my cat forever. He likes to go into cars to sleep and I’m worried somebody’s going to drive off with him and not know where he came from. I’m afraid he’s going to die in a hot car. There are all kinds of things that terrified me about letting my little tiny boy wonder, but I realize something along time ago. This boy was born on the Bayou by a mom who abandoned him. He is wild. He is an outdoor cat. To lock him up inside the house would be like putting a human in a jail cell. I would never unjustly do that to this animal and I would rather him live his life on his own terms, then to put him in jail because I am terrified he is going to be hurt.

It’s a hard thing to do being a mom. It’s guilt and second-guessing and an undeniable fear; and all of the anguish that comes with the fact that these human beings have brought so much joy into our lives. There is such an abundance of love that we can’t imagine what our life would be like without them.

This morning if my cat taught me anything it was just to calm down. Let them live the same way my parents had to let me live. It’s a humbling existence in the reality of it all. It’s just not an option.

Thanks for listening…

Rebecca Nietert

amwriting

WRITING COACH vs GHOSTWRITER

When authors who have never written a book ask me how I can help them, I answer in one of two ways. Once I obtain their goal for their book and how much they’re willing to put into the project, I inform him or her that I offer two types of support.

Coaching is unique because it can be done with considerable ease. There are elements to each and every story. Great nonfiction writing included. Those are the arc of a story and of course the act structure of a story.  For Fiction further details might include a world-building exercise for Fantasy writers. Each genre has its own set of instructions and rules that your audience, the reader, wants to see in a credible work of art. Coaching points out those necessary components on a one-by-one scenario to help you outline the work and get to the best possible outcome for you, the new author. Payment is usually by hour, but it is certainly not the encumbered task that Ghostwriting is.

Ghostwriting skills that should be performed by the author are prompt content given in a timely manner to the writer responsible for finishing the work.  These timelines would have been spelled out in your negotiated contract and executed per the agreement.  Any facts, pictures, reference materials, or process required documentation would also accompany the writing/voice recording or instructions. Of course, a contract, i.e. permissions would have to be agreed upon and paid before the services are rendered.

The qualities a Ghostwriter would have is a style that the author finds credible.  They would have to be easy to work with and understand your voice is the context of the story not their own.  The ghostwriter should know the proper questions to ask you, based on what she or she knows about the art of storytelling.  If the experience and knowledge is there, he or she will know the direction in which your novel must take to make it comparable to other best sellers. They will type the manuscript in a word document for future editing purposes.  They will give applicable advice on how to portray the story in a proper way.  They will keep confidentiality during the writing process and offer an editing service after completion.

The editing service should be from an industry professional.  The literary world and the grammatical world are two different sets of rules.  An industry professional will look for sequitur issues. They will adjust for flat or missing characters’ rules.  They will know exactly the line-by-line editing that will need to take place and your Ghostwriter should understand this and be able to recommend someone, if not submit to their person on your behalf.

Finally, your Ghostwriter will put your work into a formatted manuscript and help you with your publishing packet.  That means that you will need a query letter, a synopsis, a biography, and a back description of your work for a fiction book. For a nonfiction book, you will need a book proposal, a biography, maybe a one-sheet, and back description for your book.  A Ghostwriter can help you create this packet for you to market your work to either a literary agent, editor, or publishing house.

I hope this helps you understand the difference. Ghostwriting encompasses the responsibility of creation and leadership in addition to providing accurate voice of the person to whom they are writing the story for. Whatever your preference is, Easton-Books can help you save time, energy and money with the services we provide. You need only to ask.  Contact us for a free consult on our services.  #Amwriting #Fiction #NonFiction #Trend #Motivational #Influencer #BookCoach #WritingCoach #Ghostwriter #Getpublished #Selfpublish #Businesstobusiness

authorenterprise.com

amwriting, Inspiration

Mom is No Martyr!

This morning I was awakened by two adorable children of mine. The first said for the second time in two weeks, “I am sick.” Sure enough, a temperature quest proved her declaration. The second screamed, “Zeus (our predatory cat) has ANOTHER bunny!” of course I picked it up and saved it’s life with a lecture along the way of how I warned it earlier that week to stay hidden during the day. Regrettably, bunnies don’t listen well. Same little angel then proclaimed, “My phone is BROKEN AGAIN!” In the most annoying 13-year-old attitude she could muster she then responded to me saying, “Phones just don’t break!” with, “Mine did!” I sighed heavily. I plugged the phone into my charger, commanded she consider the phone worthless and figure out another way to contact friends and sat down for my first cup of coffee.

The phone rang. It was my husband. He was frustrated with the insurance company again and needed my help to find a document. He is the greatest man I will ever know, I should proceed with that. Sometimes his situation drives me nuts! When someone has an issue with health or choice or whatever, don’t you believe it is their responsibility to forge a path of correction? If so, how would one go about this? I find the most intricate arguments are when one or both partners believe that the other is overextending, taking for granted or just flat out not paying attention. Ah, such is the case with all relationships. Mine although nearly as perfect as one could be, is simply not perfect.

I find myself taking a back seat to the needs of those around me, and even though it’s a mother’s necessity (it’s written somewhere I am sure) it is not always an easy pill to swallow. In the words of my 12-year-old (the youngest sick one,) “It’s damn hard!”

Listen, I count my blessings, desperately try to find favor in God, and all the maternal commandments of a wife and mom, but every now and then, I would like to not have to worry about getting my hair done because a kid needs this, or cannot get my nails done because he needs that. When someone is learned enough to visualize the needs are being met for everyone and yet when the well has run dry, well, I wonder why they don’t see it’s a struggle and mom needs a break?

These are the times that are necessary to build love, trust, and companionship in others but it is also the necessary tool to be YOUR VOICE and USE YOUR WORDS to command the time and respect you deserve. You matter. Your feelings matter. It’s not selfish to make them matter to someone. After all, the people in your life are making their needs matter to you. I encourage you to tell your story.

My name is Rebecca and I do just that. I help people navigate through tough emotions and put words to those feelings. I can help you write your story one tiny black mark at a time.

For now take care of you. Then give me a ring….

Rebecca Nietert