Inspiration

Worthy of Love, by Jacob Nightingale

“We instinctually measure our self-worth based on our perceived value to the tribe that surrounds us, and unfortunately, I am a rocket scientist on a football team.” 

Find your Tribe, and there you will discover your value. Find your willingness, and there you will decide your worth. 

We were all innocent once. A child; vulnerable and uncertain. We struggled to make sense of the world. Nothing was certain except for our undying love and devotion to those we valued. We gave our trust freely to those we loved, without reservation. We would do anything to please them, and give anything to see them happy. There is no greater devotion than the love of a child and every child wants to believe they are loved equally in return. A child is always seeking feedback and reassurance, because they want to know one thing—if they too, are worthy of love. Our body may have grown and our spirit has matured, but that child still wants to know, “am I worthy to be loved?”

Worthiness is measured, not by how much you are loved, or by how much love you have been given. Worthiness is measured by how much love and devotion you are willing to give.

A child is born willing to give ALL their love and devotion; no one is more worthy of love than a child.

Like all children, we’re all pure potential. Our Will is the very essence of our potential and we are free to create ourselves however we choose. Is there a such thing as worthless potential? 

No one is worthless; we are all a work in progress, and our progress, our worth, is based solely on our willingness to learn, grow, and improve.  

While we can measure our “value” based on our past contributions and accomplishments, it’s solely based on another’s appreciation and value for what we gave. However, our worthiness, is only effectively measured by our willingness to give, and whether we did the best we could with what we had.

Are you worthy of being a friend, parent, leader, partner, spouse, doctor, student, artist, author…?

Love is the devotion to creating value, contributing, supporting, actualizing dreams, and nurturing growth, improvement, creation, and connection. If your worthiness is based on your willingness to give love and devotion, you need only to ask, “How much love and devotion am I willing to give?” This is your worthiness.    

Are you worthy of Leading? 

How much are you willing to give those that choose to follow you; to nurture, inspire, guide and support their growth and improvement?

Are you worthy of being a parent?

How much are you willing to give your child love and devotion; to support their development, to offer comfort and safety, and to nurture their growth?

Are you worthy of being a friend or romantic partner?

How much are you willing to give love and devotion to the relationship, to nurture each other’s growth and aspirations? 

Are you worthy of creating success?

How much are you willing to give to reach your objectives?

Are you worthy of love and devotion from another?

How much love and devotion are you willing to give?

While we cannot state another’s worth, we can decide if it’s “worth it” to give. When you give to someone, you are investing a part of yourself to them, and for someone to be worth it, they must be willing to accept and willing to invest. If someone is unwilling to give, how can they be worthy of what we are giving? If they are unwilling to grow and improve or to contribute and nurture growth, how can they be worthy of our support and contribution? If someone is unwilling to give love and devotion, is it worth it to give them ours? We cannot allow ourselves to give to those that are unwilling, and if we are unwilling, we are not worthy of what others are willing to give. 

It’s amazing how this simple shift in perception can change everything; it can break down the chains of self-doubt, worry, and insecurity. You don’t need to ask whether someone else finds you worthy. You can measure your own worthiness and the worthiness of those you keep in your life. If you are willing to give love, you’re worthy to be loved, and you are worth every ounce of love you have in your heart. That small child can find peace and comfort, knowing that no matter how much they were cast aside, forgotten, or unfairly challenged, they always have been and always will be “worthy of love.”

Inspiration

Why don’t more women look sexy as they age?—by Nancy LiPetri

While what’s sexy may be in the eyes of the beholder, we have to admit the 50-and-better years make it harder to feel like we’re as attractive as we ever were. Yes, I’m of that age, qualified to add my two cents worth, and I love to write about the subject.

First of all, I’m not talking about celebrity sexiness. I’m looking at sexiness in the real world: my neighbor who still hops on a motorcycle to feel the wind in her hair with her hubby who has none…the friend in yoga class whose skin glows and natural silver hair looks effortlessly chic, who astounds us at 70…the pickleball partner who rocks spandex at age 64, pumps iron and still works with the police…the artist who paints nudes and won’t hesitate to pose for same.

Do each of those, real women I know, share a common body shape, look or lifestyle? No. Some are married, one widowed, one without a current partner. While they define sexy to me, each of you might have a different type in mind. Yet high on the list of what most people say constitutes sexy is confidence. 

Age usually breeds confidence. Hey, what an advantage! My own hubby says I’m sexier now than I was at any younger age. I think I see proof otherwise in old photos, yet he insists it’s true. And I have to admit, his smile lines and savvy make him sexier than ever—but let’s leave men’s aging to another post. 

As my characters remark, we women have so much going on in our heads that can squelch or stoke sexiness. Many of us were brought up to suppress it at every age. Did your mom seem sexy? Our different cultures/upbringings surely influence what we perceive. One woman’s sexy is another’s dull…one’s daring or even promiscuous is another’s normal or playful. Some applauded this year’s Super Bowl halftime while others thought it went too far beyond what cheerleaders show us all year round. But back to non-celebrity mojo, here.

All that said, by this age we may have had children, empty nest, career, grief, illness, being a caregiver, whatever’s in your mix. It’s too easy for women to put ‘sexy’ on a back burner, thinking you’ll get back to it, then realize you’ve forgotten how to connect to it. Some crash into a midlife reawakening (I’ve heard much on that from readers of my first book). Some give up on being sexy along with giving up dating/marriage, saying it’s more trouble than it’s worth and that they’re content. 

My conclusion is sexiness fits into each journey differently. And some women are so unconventional (meet the MC in my second book) that they may not immediately strike us as sexy. But just because one of us doesn’t see the sexy in another doesn’t mean someone isn’t telling her she’s sexier than ever. In the end, who are we to judge? 

Find Nancy and her novels at:

https://www.facebook.com/nancy.lipetri

http://nancylonlakenorman.blogspot.com/