Category: amwriting

amwriting, Inspiration

Lay Down Your Worry…Again

Reba Nietert

In all the busyness that has become my life, sometimes I forget to blog. Life takes a turn, emotions become raw and you drudge through without thinking about how you feel in the moments that unfold without your permission and way beyond your control. In short, it takes a minute to reserve the moment to reflect on what’s happening in this season.

For me, my son went off to the army two months ago. My daughter began a new job. my husband and I bought a new house. My gifted child was failing two grades, the middle child was not turning in homework and the youngest child has decidedly abdicated her life. The fallout from such things create enough stressors that can’t be described in great detail in a simple blog.

Suffice it to say that my emotions have run deep, high, out of control and sometimes triggered without my permission. I have from time to time wanted to cry. If you know anything about me or have read any prior blogs you will know that it is almost an impossibility to allow myself the luxury of tears. After all the guilt-ridden condemnation from others lies deep within my psyche stating that my feelings are not as important as others are solidly ingrained that I am quite literally often sick to my stomach.

I find myself angry and sad because it’s ever so unresolved and out of control. I think of myself as somebody who forgives and moves on quickly, but I think that’s true only when I’m able to process through the emotions I have in such a way that allows me to grow into the stability of who I have become. You can imagine the discourse I am having while struggling with these interpersonal issues.

Here is what I know, everything is going to be alright. It always is. This glimpse in this hurried season is merely a blimp in the span of 80+ years that will hopefully become my life. Big picture? This too shall pass! How to handle it? Focused, driven to be kind, tolerant, excepting and ultimately find unconditional love.  Now, if I could just get there…

Life is about choices. Period. We can choose to dwell in the muck, We can choose to be selfish, we can choose to be narcissistic, we can choose to be angry, we can choose to be sad, we can choose to allow all of this to create who we are or we can choose to lay the angst down, give it to God and hope for the best. I made a decision today to do the latter.

I hope you join me. And I hope somewhere in the midst of all that you removed from your life, somehow we can break bread, drink wine and give it closure.

To learn more about a visit:

http://www.rebanietert.com



amwriting

You’re Invited-DFW 2019 Author Gala

Reba Nietert

On September 27, 2019, we will be hosting the largest Author gala where all literary professionals come together for one social event. The idea is to encourage, inspire, and lift up a fellow author by sharing his or her work. In turn, they will share yours.

Our mission is to be the number one resource for authors in DFW.  Our platform is designed to provide authors with connections to contractors such as:

  • Illustrators
  • Editors
  • Cover Designers
  • Formatters
  • Coaches
  • Publishers
  • Agents
  • and all literary professionals.

Our goal is to connect professionals with the authors who need them. In addition to networking, we have designed fun, intellectual gatherings for like-minded individuals in social typesetting to interact, share, support and encourage.  We will host a variety of events including networking, “tea-time,” one on one meetings to face challenges head-on, instruction, and all kinds of support.  Our annual Writer’s Retreat is not to be missed. Please feel free to check our online calendar to see the upcoming events, and if at any time you would like to participate in the festivities please subscribe to our email and consider becoming a founding member.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/networking-with-the-author-gala-tickets-70017970635

amwriting, books, Human Interest, Inspiration, Opinion, politics, Reflection, Revelations

An Army Family Now – Momma’s Tears

Reba Nietert

The other day I watched my 24-year-old independent son join the Army. I watched him realize he had a fully successful independent life that he was giving up, to be owned by our U.S. Government for our freedoms. I watched the pride in his eyes. I felt pride in return, and then I cried… for days.

 Today I am better. Filled with some purpose for my own life. 

I keep thinking about him and the last moments that we talked about. I replay every conversation, everything he said to me, and why he chose to go into the Army. 

I suppose to some, I seem ungrateful, maybe not appreciative of his own choice. You need to know that I am very proud that my son would give up his freedom for mine. That in and of its self is honorable. 

I cannot completely identify the pensively, the apprehension, the fear, the understanding that not all boys go in and come home; and I suppose it’s because of the things I have seen and the things that happened to me, that has not happened to the majority of people. I, more than anyone understands how quickly a life can be over and how quickly life can leave you devastated in despair! 

I’m not clear on why the tears continue to fall… I just know that I can’t stop them on my own, but what I don’t need to be told is to shove my feelings aside or be told my feelings shouldn’t matter or be told that I have no right to feel the way I do. I keep thinking of the Bible passage about God forcing Abraham to sacrifice his son on the alter because to me, that’s what this feels like. My faith needs to be as strong as His! 

We are an Army family now and as such, there’s a reality we can’t lie about. My good friend, Dennis, said to me, “He is defending an idea. An idea that is enshrined in the Declaration of independence and the Constitution. The idea that we all have the same inalienable rights. He is there to defend our way of life. Only two people in history to offer their life for yours are Jesus Christ and the American Servicemen.”

I used to believe in idealism too. Sadly I believe and this is just my belief that Americans have moved so past “inalienable rights“ and become so incredibly selfish that I have no faith the president who is our commander-in-chief above all others, will have any less regard for the American population. I digress because this is not about my pride for him, his pride for his country, the idealism of America nor even the pompous jackass who runs it. This is about my love for my boy, plain and simple.

amwriting

WRITING COACH vs GHOSTWRITER

Reba Nietert

When authors who have never written a book ask me how I can help them, I answer in one of two ways. Once I obtain their goal for their book and how much they’re willing to put into the project, I inform him or her that I offer two types of support.

Coaching is unique because it can be done with considerable ease. There are elements to each and every story. Great nonfiction writing included. Those are the arc of a story and of course the act structure of a story.  For Fiction further details might include a world-building exercise for Fantasy writers. Each genre has its own set of instructions and rules that your audience, the reader, wants to see in a credible work of art. Coaching points out those necessary components on a one-by-one scenario to help you outline the work and get to the best possible outcome for you, the new author. Payment is usually by hour, but it is certainly not the encumbered task that Ghostwriting is.

Ghostwriting skills that should be performed by the author are prompt content given in a timely manner to the writer responsible for finishing the work.  These timelines would have been spelled out in your negotiated contract and executed per the agreement.  Any facts, pictures, reference materials, or process required documentation would also accompany the writing/voice recording or instructions. Of course, a contract, i.e. permissions would have to be agreed upon and paid before the services are rendered.

The qualities a Ghostwriter would have is a style that the author finds credible.  They would have to be easy to work with and understand your voice is the context of the story not their own.  The ghostwriter should know the proper questions to ask you, based on what she or she knows about the art of storytelling.  If the experience and knowledge is there, he or she will know the direction in which your novel must take to make it comparable to other best sellers. They will type the manuscript in a word document for future editing purposes.  They will give applicable advice on how to portray the story in a proper way.  They will keep confidentiality during the writing process and offer an editing service after completion.

The editing service should be from an industry professional.  The literary world and the grammatical world are two different sets of rules.  An industry professional will look for sequitur issues. They will adjust for flat or missing characters’ rules.  They will know exactly the line-by-line editing that will need to take place and your Ghostwriter should understand this and be able to recommend someone, if not submit to their person on your behalf.

Finally, your Ghostwriter will put your work into a formatted manuscript and help you with your publishing packet.  That means that you will need a query letter, a synopsis, a biography, and a back description of your work for a fiction book. For a nonfiction book, you will need a book proposal, a biography, maybe a one-sheet, and back description for your book.  A Ghostwriter can help you create this packet for you to market your work to either a literary agent, editor, or publishing house.

I hope this helps you understand the difference. Ghostwriting encompasses the responsibility of creation and leadership in addition to providing accurate voice of the person to whom they are writing the story for. Whatever your preference is, Easton-Books can help you save time, energy and money with the services we provide. You need only to ask.  Contact us for a free consult on our services.  #Amwriting #Fiction #NonFiction #Trend #Motivational #Influencer #BookCoach #WritingCoach #Ghostwriter #Getpublished #Selfpublish #Businesstobusiness

authorenterprise.com

amwriting, Inspiration

Mom is No Martyr!

Reba Nietert

This morning I was awakened by two adorable children of mine. The first said for the second time in two weeks, “I am sick.” Sure enough, a temperature quest proved her declaration. The second screamed, “Zeus (our predatory cat) has ANOTHER bunny!” of course I picked it up and saved it’s life with a lecture along the way of how I warned it earlier that week to stay hidden during the day. Regrettably, bunnies don’t listen well. Same little angel then proclaimed, “My phone is BROKEN AGAIN!” In the most annoying 13-year-old attitude she could muster she then responded to me saying, “Phones just don’t break!” with, “Mine did!” I sighed heavily. I plugged the phone into my charger, commanded she consider the phone worthless and figure out another way to contact friends and sat down for my first cup of coffee.

The phone rang. It was my husband. He was frustrated with the insurance company again and needed my help to find a document. He is the greatest man I will ever know, I should proceed with that. Sometimes his situation drives me nuts! When someone has an issue with health or choice or whatever, don’t you believe it is their responsibility to forge a path of correction? If so, how would one go about this? I find the most intricate arguments are when one or both partners believe that the other is overextending, taking for granted or just flat out not paying attention. Ah, such is the case with all relationships. Mine although nearly as perfect as one could be, is simply not perfect.

I find myself taking a back seat to the needs of those around me, and even though it’s a mother’s necessity (it’s written somewhere I am sure) it is not always an easy pill to swallow. In the words of my 12-year-old (the youngest sick one,) “It’s damn hard!”

Listen, I count my blessings, desperately try to find favor in God, and all the maternal commandments of a wife and mom, but every now and then, I would like to not have to worry about getting my hair done because a kid needs this, or cannot get my nails done because he needs that. When someone is learned enough to visualize the needs are being met for everyone and yet when the well has run dry, well, I wonder why they don’t see it’s a struggle and mom needs a break?

These are the times that are necessary to build love, trust, and companionship in others but it is also the necessary tool to be YOUR VOICE and USE YOUR WORDS to command the time and respect you deserve. You matter. Your feelings matter. It’s not selfish to make them matter to someone. After all, the people in your life are making their needs matter to you. I encourage you to tell your story.

My name is Rebecca and I do just that. I help people navigate through tough emotions and put words to those feelings. I can help you write your story one tiny black mark at a time.

For now take care of you. Then give me a ring….

Rebecca Nietert

amwriting

The Showgirl Stretch!

Reba Nietert

Last weekend, I was asked to audition for the Dallas Dance Follies for seniors. At first, I couldn’t imagine myself a brand new senior, dancing on stage in front of people. I wondered, doesn’t my friend know me? Then I realized she knows me pretty well. She was asking me to come into her world of the joy that dance brings her, hoping that it would infect my life in the same way.

This past year, one of my ‘character goals’ is to be more present, more in the moment, more joy, more happiness and the more I do, the more fun I have. No longer stuck in the rut of my discontent, I spent the year striving to stretch out of my comfort zones and into the person I want to be. A thriving well rounded, exceptionally great physical condition, smiling happy individual. I decided to take my friend up on her offer and I auditioned.

What surprised me the most in the first of only two audition days, was that I really lost the art of dance. Once upon a time, this was all I lived for. I was good at it. Exceptionally talented in the art of provocative movement. No longer did I possess this strength. The second thing that struck me is how daunting that reality left my confidence. I had never known that kind of physical disappointment with my own body before. The idea that my body couldn’t move where my mind wanted it to go in the way I saw it playing out in my head was absurd! This was me? I made a living doing this!

I left after several grueling hours and not being able to complete the dance steps. I was humiliated and I allowed that to fester deep anger. I was disappointed I said yes. I was equally pissed that I was asked to go. I remained in my pity party until my husband walked me through the logic of the lunacy that my thoughts tortured me. My confidence was shaken. I couldn’t make sense of what was happening and the emotions I keep well tied and placed in their own compartment ran amuck and showed themselves in ways I would rather not reveal. I was a mess!

Naturally, when the second day came, I said there is no way I am doing this. It was time to put this senior body into a leotard and tights and prance around as though I did when I was in my early 20’s. Heck no! I gave myself a hundred reasons not to go. The first being I would have to dance in a leotard! The many that followed all had to do with how someone else was going to look at me and judge me. Then I got it. Who cares!

I went to that audition, and I may not be picked, but what I will have is the fact that I met some really talented and marvelous women. I had the time of my life when I decided to lay down all my preconceived notions about how it should turn out. Once I dealt with the fact and only the data and did only what I could do, I found out that once I was really out of my headspace, I had a great time. The steps were a whole lot easier and I really enjoyed myself.

That’s how life is sometimes. Actions we believe will be painfully difficult end up being our biggest reward. When a person no longer allows their own emotions to undermine their success, the word, ‘overwhelming’ doesn’t come in to play anymore. It holds no more power. As I push through the intense to-do list of my week, I need to remind myself of what actually is a priority, what I can lay down and balance with fun, and what I can ask someone to help with. Life is about the dance. I hope you find your rhythm today and that it brings you as much peace and joy as it should.

Take care, Rebecca Nietert. To learn more reach me at http://www.RebaNietert.com or contact me at for publishing or writing advice.

amwriting

Secret To Perfect Intimacy

Reba Nietert

Every now and then I get on my notes and write some thoughts to share here on FB. In addition to my blog at RebaNietert.com; I try to impart my wisdom. (Although I understand some of you just don’t care what I think and I am okay with that. LOL)

The goal in life other than Maslow’s is to achieve great love. To be loved, to give it, to accept it and to be accepted by it. This goal is sometimes illusive for the younger generation. Shoot, it was hard to find for me! One of the things that comes to mind when I speak of love is that love for all the splendor it is – is just love. It’s not grand, it’s not soul supporting, it’s not touchable or provable, it’s just there. Sometimes you find yourself in an unrequited situation, and other times you live in the new “love bubble” for some time. Love can make you feel like you live on clouds or it can make your soul shutter in fear for the pain, which is inevitable.

To achieve great intimacy later in life, after the 25+ years of marriage one thing has to be abundantly clear. You have to communicate! The first and foremost is courage. You must be able to overcome the fears inside of you to allow yourself the freedom to fully trust another human being. That takes an insurmountable amount of trust. To keep this trust going both partners must agree on a variety of topics. What should happen if we fall in love? Could you see yourself with me for a lifetime? What would happen if we had kids? How would we raise them? What kind of parent do you want to be? The list goes on and on and on. Make your “What’s important to me” list now and discuss this with your partner. You’ll be surprised at the differences and the similarities.

One thing is for certain. We all become that which we fear or that which we know. If we have a parent who is dominant and that is the parent we most identify with, they become (unbeknown to our subconscious) our culture. In the end that is who we become. We can use our intellect to overcome knee jerk responses of negativity that could come from a genetic trait, or control issues we’ve witnessed from our parents or even mini-explosive anger episodes because our parents taught us that was the way to emotionally handle our disappointments. We are all intellectual individual thinking humans, who can have the courage to define our relationships the exact way that we want them. We can toss aside self-sabotaging behaviors and really impact our own lives in a powerful way.

Bottom line? Action! You have to be willing to identify your own insecurities, your patterns, your self sabotaging ways that stop you from receiving the blessings that have always been in store for you. The ONLY person who can change your life to be what you want it to be is you. Talk to your partner. Get on the same page, and agree to live your life on your collective agreed-upon terms because once you do that, both will be contented in the relationship and intimacy will follow. Formula 101. Trust me it works.

Even when you get off track, you both can get right back on. Remember people are just people too. Sometimes they disappoint us. Sometimes they hurt us. Sometimes they come through. No one and I do mean NO ONE is 100% perfect all the time so if you’re one of those, “I am right but they need to”–people? Well, this formula might not work for you. If you’re a real person who generally cares for the other partner in your life, this is a perfect time to lay down what you have been taught, what you have been burdened with, what you have learned, and come together mutually to define both your lives in the manner both of you see fit. Good luck!

Thanks for reading… Rebecca Nietert

amwriting

Overwhelming To-Do! Ack!

Reba Nietert

What does someone do when they have a to-do list that is so long it paralyzes them? A woman I met the other day stated, “I have so much to do that I take out my list-read it-feel overwhelmed-check Facebook and then it’s over! Nothing gets done!” How many of us do that very same thing?

In my case, quite admittedly, I have to be on social media several times a day. I have two constructed websites that are designed to bring in income. I have ads on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn that need to be analyzed and modified. I have Twitter feeds that I need to increase numbers. I have Linkedin but I need to increase my reach with. I have Facebook profiles and pages and groups that need attention. Somehow I have to manage and the entire platform of supporting social media such as Instagram in such a way that it brands what I do in a unique and approachable way. I have Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc… so being on social media for me it’s just not an option! It’s my business.

I have however from time to time, thought about hiring a social media expert so that I could continue to do my writing, editing, reading, coaching, inspiring, cheerleading, etc. with other authors. Sometimes it just gets to be too much! What’s a girlie to do!?

Here’s what I know. Getting on social media should have a time limit! I have three pages-single-spaces by the way; of things I must get done. However, my reality is that 5 or less of today’s “priority list” will actually get marked off. Yes, I have a 10 point prioritized list that changed daily! Some days hourly!

Give yourself a break! While it’s important to do things it is also equally important to have joy in mundane tasks. Take a moment to stand, get a healthy snack, breathe with your eyes closed, look out a window, get some coffee and “just be” with yourself once in a while. Smell the roses if you will. Anything to help you not feel so overwhelmed!

That’s my advice for the two cents it’s worth. As for me, I’m logging off and going to spend 20 minutes with my 12-year-old so she can show me how to hoverboard. Yep.

Take care, Rebecca Nietert, Publisher, author, speaker, chief cook, and taxi driver and all-around kook!

amwriting, books, Human Interest, Inspiration

Sex at Every Age!?

Reba Nietert

Yes. That’s the topic. When relationships mature into wise mindful working relationships that constructively work, what happens to the intimacy between two people? In the movie, “Yours Mine and Ours” with Lucille Ball and Henry Ford; his character, Frank Beardsley, explains to this daughter the realities of life. I am going to mess this up, so I will try and say the quote as best as I recall. He said, “Love is easy. It’s the mundane that counts. You show me a man who loves when there’s laundry to do or the dishes need to be done. Anyone who can get through the bad stuff to get to the good stuff, now that’s true love.”

He was correct. Life is truly about the art of either being content or not being content but still being present in the moment enough to enjoy it and not allow whatever chaos seems to be unfolding pisses you off one more time. Yet this fundamental key to genuine authentic behavior seems to elude even the most mature of people.

What happens in the most general of terms is that one or both partners in a relationship begin to take each other for granted. The niceties present in the beginning seems to subside when the duties and stressors of the day become more important to “get done” than the undeniable necessity of feeding the other’s soul. Before long everyone is walking through their life passionateness about love and over-impassioned about things that just don’t matter. Their focus on what should be is directed to what they believe is societal “must be’s.” In the end, they create more anger, angst, jealousy also division because they have sold out to the better job, the better home, the best this or that. The worst thing is that they don’t even know it’s happened to them. No wonder hey cannot focus on how to offer their partner any possibility of intimacy. They’ve all but completely robbed themselves of it.

When the mini-explosions, the constructive criticisms and the monumental disappointments of life resonate as the prominent feeling of the day, how can one stop, and take care of themselves or their partner? By electing to be a little romantic. Romance as a general descriptor is not dead, it’s an action or word with supporting action of professing or doing something for someone else that they need. Whatever you choose to do must be something they would ask for, they would require, and that they would tell you but are electing not to.

So the next time you feel like spouting off that which has offended your great senses, remember that person who you want an intimate relationship with, is watching. Even though you’re not pointing the rage at him or her, they feel the anguish you do which is the antithesis of what you’re trying to achieve. Stop yourself from a constant barrage of what you feel, and give weight to the fact that your partner may need to see your kindness, your loving side, your Justice and especially the side of you they fell in love with.

No matter what happens at any age, things are always better after a mature and loving conversation. Everyone feels better when they feel heard when they feel loved and cared for. Everyone wants to feel like they’re your priority. Once you make that person feel the way you intend, they will return the favor and that intimacy that has been missing will eventually be alive and kicking in your relationship. It just takes motivation and action.

Good luck. Happy Valentines Day!

Rebecca Nietert

amwriting, Inspiration

Why do we care so much!?

Reba Nietert

The other day, I posted some witty banter about a declaration. My statement was designed to make people think about the word “pride.” You see sometimes I am prideful and sometimes I am not. When I get haughty and I believe that I deserve a certain something, that’s when pretty much everything in my life takes a drastic turn from relationships to successful income to you name it. In addition to my efforts in transparency, I wanted to publish the statement so that in the next few days when I am not feeling so humbled, I can peruse through my social media and remember to let go of that which I cannot control.

Sadly, all it did was make people feel I was sad or make people feel I was desperate. Neither of which is true. My post said something like this: “there is peace in knowing that in 100 years whatever I did will not matter.” I wasn’t trying to go dark. I’m certainly not a quitter. I’m certainly not somebody who wouldn’t try to make an impact on society. That’s just did my make up.

I wrote that statement as a testimony of the actualization an understanding that comes from their ability to see I have no control. Therefore, when I tried to over exceed and put wealth as a tagline to my speaking or writing books or promoting other authors or publishing other author books, I am reminded that I can only do what I can do. I may never be The best Publisher, the best writer, the best speaker and somehow that gave me a sense of peace. I stopped trying to do it to be the best and started trying to do things that I love to do. And somehow, releasing that need to make my mark gave me immense peace.

That might cause anxiety for somebody else but for me, as a self-proclaimed control freak, today anyway, I’m a little bit calmer. The impact I have on today is only for the legacy I will leave behind for those I already know. I will have no impact on their children’s children. Somehow, learning to be the best person I can be so that my dialogue with myself is joyful, confident, and ultimately peaceful. After all, isn’t that what all of us want?

Why do you care so much? What’s the worst that can happen? Learning when to speak and what to say is profoundly as important as knowing when to shut up and be quiet 🤐! Lol Learning this fundamental art can be the difference between life long-lasting relationships with the legacy you want to leave versus a life filled with angst and torment from feeling out of control. I write this today as much for anybody who reads it as well as for myself for reference I don’t later date when I will certainly need it!

Take care, Reba

#AmWriting #Publisher #Writeangst #SpreadSomeLove