Tag: Love

Inspiration

Blissful Harmony: The Joy of a Fulfilling Marriage and Happy Children

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert

Happiness is a subjective and ever-elusive concept, but for me, the pinnacle of my joy has come from the combination of a wonderful marriage and thriving children. In this narrative essay, I will delve into the profound happiness I have experienced from the harmonious interplay between a flourishing marriage and the joyous presence of my children.

Building a Strong Foundation:

The key to a remarkable marriage lies in the solid foundation upon which it is built. From the very beginning of our relationship, my partner and I recognized the importance of open communication, trust, and unconditional support. We were dedicated to nurturing our love, forging a bond strengthened by shared values and common goals. It is within this foundation that the seeds of our happiness were sown.

Cherishing Moments of Togetherness:

Amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life, we make a conscious effort to prioritize quality time together. We savor those precious moments, be it a shared meal, a walk in the park, or even a quiet evening at home. These instances of togetherness contribute significantly to the happiness we find in one another, as we create lasting memories and strengthen the emotional connection that lies at the core of our marital bliss.

Nurturing Our Children’s Happiness:

The joy intensifies as we witness the growth and happiness of our children. From their first steps to their early milestones, we have reveled in the privilege of facilitating their development. Our unconditional love, unwavering support, and dedicated presence create an environment that allows our children to flourish. Seeing their radiant smiles and hearing their contagious laughter fills our hearts with immeasurable joy.

Embracing Challenges Together:

No marriage is devoid of challenges, and it is how we navigate them as a team that truly defines our happiness. We recognize that life’s obstacles can strengthen our bond, encourage personal growth, and deepen our appreciation for one another. By tackling challenges together, we have emerged stronger and more resilient. The knowledge that we have each other’s unwavering support and love adds a layer of contentment to our lives.

Celebrating Milestones and Shared Successes:

In our journey as a family, we celebrate not only individual milestones but the collective successes that we achieve together. Whether it be a promotion at work, academic achievements, or personal milestones, the joy we experience is magnified in the knowledge that we have overcome obstacles as a unified unit. Each success becomes a testament to our shared commitment and propels us towards further happiness and fulfillment.

The cumulative result of a harmonious marriage and the joy brought by our children has brought unparalleled happiness into my life. By building a strong foundation, cherishing moments of togetherness, nurturing our children’s happiness, embracing challenges, and celebrating shared successes, we have found an enduring happiness that is both profound and deeply gratifying.

In conclusion, I consider myself immensely fortunate to have experienced the joy that emanates from a fulfilling marriage and the presence of happy children. It is within this nurturing environment that I have found the truest form of happiness, enriching my life and providing a constant source of love and contentment. My journey has taught me that the happiness derived from a wonderful marriage and the joy of happy children is an immeasurable and irreplaceable gift.

Human Interest

Economic Ruin: The Devastation Faced by Desperate Families

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert

In the face of of the 2008 economic ruin, families often find themselves trapped in a cycle of despair. In my life there has been ripples of detrimental effects from financial distress on my family. Hopefully I can shed light on the challenges we’ve endured. By understanding the consequences of economic hardship, we can foster empathy and seek effective strategies to support and uplift struggling families during these trying times.

Financial Stress and Mental Health:

The strain of economic ruin takes a severe toll on the mental health of family members. Constant worry about meeting basic needs, mounting debts, and the uncertainty of the future can lead to anxiety, depression, and a sense of hopelessness. Parents grappling with financial distress struggle to provide a stable and nurturing environment for their children, exacerbating the emotional and psychological impacts on the entire family. The distress caused by economic ruin profoundly affects familial relationships, communication, and overall well-being.

Disruption of Education and Future Prospects:

Economic ruin often forces families to cut back on essential expenditures, such as education. Limited financial resources may prevent children from accessing quality education, adequate school supplies, or extracurricular activities that contribute to their holistic development. This disruption in education can hinder their future prospects, perpetuating the cycle of poverty and impeding their ability to break free from the constraints of economic hardship. Additionally, the stress faced by parents can negatively impact their own educational pursuits or professional growth, adding to the family’s challenges.

Increased Risk of Poverty and Homelessness:

Economic ruin increases the risk of families falling into poverty and, in extreme cases, homelessness. Loss of employment, mounting debts, and insufficient access to basic necessities can quickly strip families of their financial stability. Limited or no access to affordable housing further exacerbates their plight, leaving them vulnerable to displacement and the hardships associated with homelessness. The consequences of poverty and homelessness on family dynamics, physical and mental well-being, and social integration are profound and far-reaching.

Strained Relationships and Social Isolation:

Economic ruin strains relationships within families and often leads to social isolation. Financial pressures can breed conflicts, resentment, and a breakdown in communication between family members. The stress of continuously struggling financially may result in strained marriages, increased instances of domestic violence, and fractured support systems within the extended family. Moreover, the shame and stigma surrounding financial difficulties can lead families to withdraw from their social networks, further exacerbating their isolation and reducing access to potential sources of support.

These scenarios place families in a desperate and distressing situations, impacting their mental health, educational opportunities, chances of escaping poverty, and overall well-being. The consequences of financial distress ripple through all aspects of family life, straining relationships, eroding hope, and exacerbating feelings of helplessness. It is imperative that society fosters empathy and understanding, providing support systems, resources, and policies that aim to uplift and empower struggling families. By addressing the root causes of economic ruin and offering avenues for recovery, we can strive towards a more resilient and compassionate society that helps families emerge from the depths of despair and rebuild their lives.

If you’re in trouble, because in today’s chaotic and violent world, trouble occurs, go to your local library and research whatever help or assistance you need. It’s free and often the parents or educators or librarians can point you in the right way.

Reflection

Unwanted Lessons – Embracing Rejection

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert

When I first arrived home from the hospital with my mother, I was met with a disheartening response from my father. He took one look at me and uttered the words, “that’s not my child.” The connection between a father and his child never formed for me. There were no playful moments shared, no fatherly embrace to cherish. My early memories are devoid of any presence from him, until he finally returned when I was nine years old.

It was at that fragile age when he reappeared in our lives, urging my mother to place us on the L train bound for Springfield, Illinois. My older sister was ten and my younger sister just eight. Filled with anticipation, we embarked on the journey, eager to see what awaited us. Upon arrival, I was introduced to a whole new side of my family: my father’s mother, LaVonne, and her husband. Walter, his father and his wife, Charlotte, was also present. Cathy, who Bill, my father had married and adopted her two kids Lisa and David.

It was during this meeting that the significance of my sisters’ names dawned on me. My older sister was named after our grandmother, and my younger sister carried the name of my father’s sister. In contrast, my own name seemed to be chosen without much thought, seemingly plucked out of thin air.

On one particular day, grandmother LaVonne set out on a shopping expedition. Upon her return, she presented two carefully chosen gifts, one for my eldest sister and another for my youngest sister. My heart swelled with anticipation, hoping a gift awaited me as well. But just as I reached out to claim my surprise, her words hurt me deeply. My breath caught in my throat. She hissed, “I didn’t get one for you because you’re not my granddaughter.”My childhood tears fell like rain, and my father, Bill, took me into the bedroom away from the other two children to punish me for misbehaving.

In that moment, the weight of my existence hit me with full force. I realized that I was the one left out, that my place in this intricate family dynamic was not as clearly defined. It was not in my head or I was not the problem. It was in that instant that I began to question my identity and yearn for a connection that seemed to elude me. When I got back home, I asked my mother about the incident. It was then that she told me he was probably right and I wasn’t his daughter.

It was a moment of undeniable clarity, a realization that reverberated through my being with a disturbing truth. Her words, simple yet piercing, echoed in my mind, playing on a loop as if to ensure their message sank deeply into my soul. The feeling of inequality, the emptiness that engulfed me in that one instance, reverberated through my memories with alarming clarity.

I couldn’t help but reminisce about the laughter shared by my parents when they cradled my sisters. The pride that radiated from their eyes as they proudly introduced them to acquaintances and friends. The contrast between the toys they received and the ones I was given. The harshness of my consequences than theirs. My bruises. My welts. It all became painfully clear, like a harsh spotlight illuminating my true place in the family. They never had those wounds. Both of my parents blamed me for their mistakes.

Whispers from extended family reached my ears, lingering like venomous hisses. I wasn’t one of them, an inherent truth that had eluded me until that very day. I had brushed off their cruelty as nothing more than malicious behavior, not realizing the concealed honesty behind their actions. The sting of rejection took hold, penetrating deep within my being, leaving an indelible mark on my soul.

I came face to face with an irrefutable reality – I was different, incomparable to them in every sense. I never quite fit their mold, nor would I ever. It was a painful revelation that shattered the illusion of belonging I had long held. In a sea of dark features and the voluptuous physiques, I was a blonde, blue eyed, tall, lanky skinny kid that stood far above even the men in the family.

In this pensive moment of introspection, I couldn’t escape the weight of this truth. It enveloped me, casting a melancholic shadow over my thoughts. The journey felt daunting, as if I had been thrust into a world that refused to accept me. I heard myself say, “they will never accept you for who you are, and why should they? You will never be one of them.”

When I was much older and life taught me lessons unwanted, I refused to be defined solely by the perception of others. I would forge my own path, embracing the uniqueness that set me apart. I began to accept that true fulfillment lies not in blending in, but in embracing who we truly are. The wounds of rejection may sting, but they also serve as a reminder of our resilience and our ability to carve out our own identity. So, I stand amidst the harsh reality of my differences, acknowledging the pain yet finding solace in the strength it has ignited within me. There is power in embracing the truth, even if it means veering off the conventional path.

Reflection

Navigating Life Without Interpersonal Skills or Emotional Intelligence

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert

In the depths of my childhood, I learned to navigate an unconventional path. A world where solitude became my closest companion, and silence was more familiar than whispers. The norm dictated that I venture outdoors, to immerse myself in games that temporarily distracted from the void within. The sun would rise and set, casting its golden hues, reminding me that time was an elusive concept, slipping through my fingers like grains of sand.

My mother, a courageous woman, raised me as a single parent until fate intervened when I was just a tender five years old. She met a man who became a part of our lives, his presence flowing through our days like a gentle stream. For a fleeting moment, our schedules synchronized, and a semblance of normality tantalized my young spirit. As swiftly as this sliver of stability arrived, it bid farewell, leaving a void only an eleven-year-old could comprehend.

Responsibility became my companion before its time. I would find myself standing at the helm of the kitchen, cooking meals, mastering the art of cleaning dishes and tidying our humble abode. All the while, my eyes rolled in defiance, my silent protest painting the walls with unuttered words. Seeking solace in my mother’s affection, I yearned for those elusive three words that held the power to mend the fractures within. But their presence was scarce, often whispered in the aftermath of a harsh beating, a fleeting reminder that love could exist amidst pain.

My feelings remained shrouded, cast aside and unacknowledged. In the chaos of her own reality, my mother became a hapless passenger, her exhaustion a testament to a life that demanded too much of her. Time seemed irretrievable, slipping through weary fingers that had long forgotten the magic of conversation, the beauty of truly listening, and the power of nurturing little souls seeking their place in the world.

The Detrimental Effects of Neglect: Social Isolation and Miscommunication

Growing up in an environment where interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence were not emphasized presented numerous challenges. The absence of these skills hindered my ability to form meaningful connections and maintain meaningful relationships. Social interactions became daunting as I lacked the ability to effectively express myself, leading to isolation and misunderstandings in various aspects of life.

Struggles with Empathy and Understanding Others’ Perspectives

Without the cultivation of emotional intelligence, empathetic abilities were stunted. Recognizing and understanding the emotions of others became difficult, resulting in frequent misinterpretations and a lack of empathy. This disconnection from others potentially contributed to a limited understanding of human behavior, hindering personal and professional growth.

Ineffective Conflict Resolution: Escalating Tensions

The absence of interpersonal skills left me ill-equipped to navigate conflicts constructively. Difficulty in expressing my own emotions, coupled with a lack of active listening skills, often led to escalating tensions and unresolved disagreements. This pattern strained relationships, hindering personal growth, and limiting my ability to collaborate effectively.

Emotional Turmoil and Self-Reflection

Realizing the deficiencies in my interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence forced me to confront my own emotional turmoil. The lack of emotional awareness made it difficult to process and regulate my own emotions, resulting in heightened anxiety and stress. Self-reflection became an essential tool to bridge the gap, prompting the need to actively develop these skills beyond what was initially taught.

Seeking Growth and Self-Development

Recognizing the importance of interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence, I actively sought avenues for growth and development. Engaging in therapy, reading books, attending workshops, and seeking mentorship became instrumental in acquiring these vital life skills that were not initially nurtured during upbringing. Though challenging, the journey of self-improvement allowed me to bridge the gap and gain a deeper understanding of how interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence contribute to a well-rounded and fulfilling life.

The absence of parental guidance in fostering interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence can have significant consequences on an individual’s personal and social growth. The impact includes difficulties in forming meaningful connections, a limited ability to empathize with others, ineffective conflict resolution, emotional turmoil, and the need for self-reflection and self-improvement later in life.

Recognizing these deficiencies and actively seeking personal growth and development can mitigate the effects of this upbringing. Through dedication and a willingness to learn, individuals can acquire the necessary tools to navigate social and emotional situations effectively. Ultimately, this journey enables the cultivation of interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence, promoting healthier relationships and personal well-being.

As I weave together the fragments of my past, cherishing the distance I have traveled, I realize that love is not always whispered in the conventional sense. It manifests in the strength we find within ourselves, the lessons we learn amidst chaos, and the moments of solace we offer others along their own unique journeys. My childhood, though unorthodox, instilled in me an unwavering belief in the power of love’s resilience.

Interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence are essential components of personal growth and successful interactions with others. However, not all parents prioritize teaching these important life skills. This narrative essay explores the impact of lacking interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence from a personal perspective, shedding light on the challenges faced and the potential consequences of growing up without these crucial tools for social and emotional navigation.

And so, as I share my story with you, I am reminded that even amid the darkest of times, love can transcend the bounds of tradition and adversity. It connects us all, reminding us that within the tapestry of our lives, there is space for healing, understanding, and the emergence of a love that can flourish against all odds. A soul that can learn kindness and a heart resolute to never make the same mistakes.

Reflection

Life’s Bustling Chaos – Generational Reflections

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert

I have vivid memories of sitting down with a therapist who enlightened me about the influential figures in my life who had ingrained values that shaped the person I am today. As I reflect on my journey, I can wholeheartedly agree with that therapist. Among those remarkable individuals were my great grandparents, Sam and Geneva. As I sit here in the latter years of my life, their profound impact on me remains undeniable.

During those treasured summer breaks, when my mother needed respite, she would send my two sisters and me off to live with relatives. While my older sister, LaVonne, would spend those weeks with her father’s sister, Sharon, I was blissfully content being in the company of my great grandparents. As a gangly, lanky child, with legs seemingly composed mostly of knees, I found solace in the presence of my great grandmother, Neva. Her figure was the antithesis of mine – round and comforting. I would snuggle into the rolls of her body, finding a sense of security and belonging that melted away my self-consciousness.

Neva nurtured me in ways I can never repay. She fed me Malta meal every single day, diligently attempting to plump me up. Our breakfasts were adorned with eggs, and sometimes, for dinner, we delighted in mushroom soup. Though our means were modest, love and attentive ears were abundant in their home, a novelty I wasn’t accustomed to.

Looking back, I am overcome by a deep sense of gratitude for the love and care that Sam and Geneva showered upon me. Those blissful summer days were defined not by material possessions, but by the wealth of love and understanding they shared. These memories remain etched in my heart, serving as a powerful reminder that sometimes the most extraordinary gifts in life are intangible.

As I recount my journey, I am reminded of the therapist’s words that resonated with me deeply. It is true, indeed. Sam and Geneva strategically imprinted values within me, values that have shaped my character and the way I navigate this world. Their love, their wisdom, and their capacity to listen have guided me throughout my life.

As I sit here, basking in the warmth of memories, I am overwhelmed with appreciation for the legacy that Sam and Geneva have left behind. Their love continues to ripple through the generations, reminding me of the power of love’s embrace. It is within this embrace that I discover the true essence of who I am.

In life’s bustling chaos, I find solace in knowing that I was fortunate enough to experience the remarkable love of my great grandparents. They shaped me into the person I am, imprinting upon me values such as empathy, compassion, and the art of listening deeply. Their influence has echoed through the years, reminding me to cherish the relationships and moments that truly matter.

So, with a heart overflowing with gratitude, I honor the indelible mark that Sam and Geneva have left on my soul. Their love is a gift that will forever guide and inspire me.

Human Interest, Inspiration, Revelations

Title: The Healing Power of Compassion: A Journey as a Cancer Caregiver

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert

Life’s unexpected turns often lead us down unfamiliar paths, challenging us to discover new strengths and depths of compassion. As a caregiver for a cancer patient, I have embarked on a profoundly transformative journey, one that has taught me the true meaning of empathy, resilience, and the healing power of human connection. I will share my personal narrative, highlighting the challenges, triumphs, and invaluable lessons I have learned walking alongside a loved one during their battle against cancer.

The Diagnosis: A Moment That Changed Everything:

It started with a visit to the doctor’s office, a routine check-up that descended into a whirlwind of fear and disbelief. I was sitting on her couch when she received the devastating news. The word “cancer” echoed through the room, shattering our world into a million pieces. As a caregiver, my role abruptly transformed from being a pillar of support to becoming a steadfast advocate for my loved one’s health and well-being.

Navigating the Medical Maze:

Cancer became more than just a disease; it became a labyrinth of medical jargon, treatment options, and emotions. My memories unfold as I recall the countless hours spent researching, attending appointments, and consulting with medical professionals. Through it all, I became a beacon of hope for my loved one, providing her with the reassurance and guidance she needed to make informed decisions.

The Daily Battles and Unwavering Support:

In the midst of surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation treatments, my true essence of caregiving emerged. There were numerous struggles of witnessing physical pain and emotional turmoil, and the constant battle against despair. Yet, it is also a story of strength and unconditional love, as I remained resolute in my commitment to provide unwavering support, a steady hand to hold, and a shoulder to lean on.

The Power of Connection and Compassion:

I recall the transformative moments of connecting with other cancer patients and their caregivers. Sharing stories of hope, vulnerability, and resilience forged bonds that transcended the boundaries of disease. Together, we celebrated victories, offered solace during setbacks, and found solace in the understanding that we were not alone in our journeys.

Being a caregiver for a cancer patient is a profound and life-altering experience. It is a journey intertwined with moments of overwhelming sadness, unspeakable fears, and relentless determination. Yet, amidst the darkness, I have discovered an unparalleled capacity for compassion, strength, and personal growth.

I am reminded of the words of Helen Keller: “Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.” As a caregiver, I have come to realize the importance of a support network, both for the patient and for oneself. It is through these connections that we find solace, hope, and the courage to navigate the challenges of a cancer diagnosis.

In light of this journey, I am grateful for the lessons learned, the resilience gained, and the opportunity to make a difference in the life of a loved one. Being a caregiver for a cancer patient has shown me the invaluable power of compassion, reaffirming the belief that even amidst the darkest of times, love and empathy can illuminate the path to healing.

Reflection

Meeting My Hero – Love Transcends The Ordinary

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert

When our paths crossed, I had already weathered countless storms, both self-inflicted and bestowed upon me by fate. I carried the weight of my past, scars etched upon my heart. And there he stood, a sight to behold, exuding a rugged charm that whispered of untold possibilities. From that very moment, an electric connection sparked between us.

He, the office manager, me, the first female salesperson. I had treaded cautiously around the other men, but this one, he captivated me completely. Not only did he catch my eye, he effortlessly claimed my heart. Little did I know, our journey together would be a roller coaster ride like no other. Love, passion, complexity, scandal – all woven into the fabric of our lives, forging a lasting commitment.

Our courtship began cautiously, hesitant steps in the dance of love. For the man I know today was once a foolish boy, stumbling through the intricacies of being my partner. He made mistakes, monumental ones, and had to learn what it truly meant to stand by my side. I am a woman of strength, unyielding and resolute; I have no time to raise a man. He must meet me on equal ground, or depart.

It took him years to reach that level, to surpass me in his growth, but his willingness to learn and adapt never faltered. He genuinely loves me, with an intensity that ignites the deepest recesses of my being. He embraced the challenge of becoming the man I needed, and his unwavering commitment has forever transformed our lives.

In this journey of love, we have weathered storms, scaled mountains, and embraced the challenges that sought to tear us apart. But through it all, our love has grown, intertwining our lives in a tapestry of devotion and adoration. Together, we have discovered the true meaning of partnership, finding solace and strength in each other’s embrace.

So, if you too long for a love that defies the odds, that transcends the ordinary, join us in this tale of love and redemption. For within the pages of our story, you will find the power of second chances, the beauty of growth, and the transformative magic of a love that withstands the test of time. Open your heart, and let our story inspire your own journey into the boundless depths of love.

Reflection

A Glimpse of Resilience: Overcoming Violent Beatings from a Damaged Teen Mom

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert

I’ve shared moments from my past when life appeared blissful and uncomplicated. However, the elation I felt in those instances was soon shattered by the horrors of violence. This is my personal story, distinct from my mother’s, and it’s essential to remember that there are always two sides to every narrative. It wasn’t until later in life that I came to realize the undeniable inaccuracy of my own perspectives and the distorted lenses through which I viewed the world. My memories had been shaped by fabricated tales, constructed to avoid shouldering any responsibility for my actions during my youth. My mother, too, battled her own personal demons, frequently succumbing to their influence.

In reconsidering my past, I approach it with caution, understanding the need to carefully evaluate the validity of my own recollections. It is a vital lesson I have learned on my journey towards self-discovery and awareness. By acknowledging the complexity of our individual stories, we begin to comprehend the fragmented nature of truth.

My mother’s story and mine are intertwined, yet divergent. Through introspection, I now understand the necessity of appreciating her struggles, her mistakes, and the battles she fought silently. We are all imperfect beings molded by the circumstances that surround us. Recognizing this truth has allowed me to discern the flawed nature of my own perspectives and narratives.

A Childhood Marred by Turmoil:

Growing up in the shadow of an emotionally damaged teen mother was fraught with difficulties. As a young child, I endured physical abuse, experiencing frequent, violent beatings that left both physical and emotional scars. Most of what I recall was fits of what I call blood rage. An uncontrollable urge to control a situation that one feels pain or loss or unfairness. This immature reaction was the status quo. The consequences of that torment was the removal of any sense of security. Her unreasonable explosions at any given time robbed me of safety. A battle I continue to struggle with today. Eventually, the English language became an escape from this painful reality, offering solace through literature, poetry, and stories that transported me to worlds far removed from my own.

Seeking Understanding and Empathy:

As I navigated my teenage years, a desire to comprehend my mother’s emotional turmoil drove me to explore psychology and self-help books. Through extensive reading and introspection, I began understanding the impact of trauma and emotional instability on individuals. Writing provided me with a platform to communicate my discoveries, fostering empathy and understanding among peers, educators, and eventually, even with my mother.

Discovering Inner Strength:

While the beatings continued, I discovered my own reservoir of inner strength, often rebelling and thereby increasing the frequency. I heard words of love from her tough detached lips only when guilt had consumed her. To hear them I would suffer the brutal force of her rage. I would egg her on. That was my culpability in our dysfunctional dynamic.

Breaking the Cycle:

Armed with newfound self-awareness and a thirst for personal growth, I vowed to break the cycle of violence that had plagued my family for generations. Drawing inspiration from my mother’s strength in overcoming her emotional demons, I sought therapy and professional guidance to heal my own wounds. The English language provided a safe space to verbalize my pain, explore healing techniques, and share my journey of personal transformation.

Embracing Forgiveness and Empathy:

Unbeknownst to me, my ability to forgive and empathize played a pivotal role in my journey towards healing. Recognizing that my mother’s actions stemmed from her own unresolved trauma and emotional instability allowed me to see her not just as my abuser, but as a vulnerable human being. I penned heartfelt letters to my mother, expressing my understanding and offering forgiveness, fostering a path to reconciliation and healing.

Engaging in creative writing, I poured my emotions onto paper, forming a narrative that empowered me to rise above my circumstances. With my communication, skills, honed, it offered me the means to articulate my pain, frustration, and resilience, transforming my experiences into a tangible testament of my journey.

Conclusion:

My path of overcoming violent beatings inflicted by my emotionally damaged teen mother has been one of resilience, self-discovery, and forgiveness. My prayer is to transcend my painful experiences, heal through writing, and ultimately find empathy and understanding. I hope to inspire others who have faced similar challenges to tap into their inner resilience, embracing the power of forgiveness and self-growth, and finding solace in the healing power of words.

Please Note: when I say, beatings or abuse, I am specifically talking about bruises that are able to be seen, muscles that are torn, and bones that are broken. The last occurrence at the age of 14. However, with all that revealed, my mother and I became best friends because when 2 people choose healing & forgiving, change happens. I live in a glass house and will throw no stone.

Revelations

Timeless Charade – The Dance Through Generations

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert

Well, isn’t it just absolutely delightful how people can be so wonderfully inconsistent? I mean, it’s truly puzzling how fairness seems to be a concept lost on some individuals. Take my lifetime of experience, for instance (not that anyone asked for it). I’ve come to realize that being a “safe” person, you know, someone who doesn’t judge and can handle a few offenses without losing their mind, apparently gives others the right to give me all sorts of unsolicited advice. They will kindly inform me of what I should do, how to think, and even how to live my life. Oh, the joy!

However, let’s not forget that these same people, who are far from being paragons of safety, have an astonishing aversion to receiving any form of criticism or suggestions from anyone, including yours truly. Heaven forbid anyone dares to approach them in an authoritative manner. The mere thought of it sends them into a fit of rage, causing them to either explode, abandon me, yell, shame me, or act like spoiled children denying any wrongdoing. Apparently, reality checks are simply not on their menu.

Yet, the moment I dare to set my own boundaries and stand up for myself, I am faced with the burdensome responsibility of waging an emotional war. Isn’t that special? It’s positively maddening! I mean, wouldn’t it be just fabulous if people could simply say, “Oh, well, fair enough, I won’t do that again”? You know, like I do! But alas, it seems I am surrounded by a tribe of individuals who prefer to dance to their own tune, heedless of fairness or accountability.

Ah, the joys of dealing with such inconsistencies. It truly is a remarkable experience that I wouldn’t trade for the world. Who needs fairness and logical discourse anyway? It’s much more exciting to navigate the treacherous waters of emotional turmoil and one-sided expectations. Really, it’s the stuff dreams are made of. Not!

To the emotionally stunted high schoolers, it’s time for a reality check! We’ve long skipped the melodramatic halls of high school. And guess what? It’s a revelation that took me a stunning 60 years to grasp. Brace yourselves, because here it is: you don’t have to like me, and I don’t have to like you. Mind-blowing, isn’t it?

I used to think there was something fundamentally wrong with me if I didn’t fancy someone’s company. I mean, come on, if the whole world adored them, surely I was missing something, right? But no, it finally clicked that maybe they see something entirely different. And you know what? That’s not my problem. Some individuals, bless their hearts, are experts in deliberate nastiness. They grant themselves the golden ticket to act horribly with zero remorse. Accountability? Psh, they don’t even know what that means. Your unwavering, non-judgmental response to their outrageously selfish ways won’t put a dent in their behavior.

Oh, and let’s not forget the covert masters of the game, especially the women. They’ve perfected the art of dispelling backhanded compliments, all cleverly masked with plausible deniability. It’s a timeless charade passed down through generations. But let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, I’m utterly fed up with this tiresome song and dance.

Reflection

Absent Dad Title: Reflections on the Absent Father: The Quest for Identity

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert

In the depth of my being, a chapter of my past lies shrouded in darkness, its pages filled with unanswered questions and unresolved emotions. It is a story of abandonment, deception, and the relentless search for identity. This is my narrative – the tale of a young adult whose longing for a father’s love was overshadowed by the painful truth of his deceit.

Imagine growing up with a perpetual void in your heart, a constant reminder of the absence of a man whom society claims should have been there. The mere thought of the man I believed to be my biological father filled my mind with a myriad of emotions – longing, resentment, confusion, and ultimately, contemplation.

I yearned for a connection, an unbreakable bond that could bridge the gap between my incomplete sense of self and an unknown heritage. But little did I know that the one who had abandoned me held a secret so profound that it would shatter my fragile perception of family and forever change the course of my existence.

As the truth unraveled, I discovered that the man I thought was my paternal beacon had known all along that he was not the biological connection to me. He carried within him the knowledge that blood did not bind us, that the shared DNA that defines parentage lay elsewhere. In his abandonment, i’d like to think he sought to protect me from a truth that would shake the very foundations of my being. But his absence in my life spoke volumes.

Contemplation became my companion in quiet moments, as I grappled with the gravity of his decision. Questions echoed through the corridors of my mind – how could he have chosen to disappear rather than face the consequences? What could have compelled him to leave behind a child? And, most importantly, who was I without his presence? He certainly did not abandon my elder sister, nor my younger sister. Maybe because they were his biological children.

In the depths of my contemplation, I realized that identity is not solely defined by bloodlines or shared genetics. It is a complex tapestry woven not only by the presence of those who raised us but also by the absence of those who should have been there. It is through the absence of this man, whom I once thought of as my father, that I discovered the strength to redefine my own sense of self.

As young adults, we are confronted with the bittersweet realization that life does not always grant us the answers we seek. It is during these moments of reflection that we find ourselves standing at the crossroads of forgiveness and understanding. We can choose to carry the burden of resentment or embark on a journey of introspection and growth.

So, to all the young adults out there who have felt the sting of parental absence or who have grappled with questions of identity, know that you are not alone. Our stories intertwine in a collective tapestry of resilience and self-discovery. May we find solace in the contemplation of our own narratives and the wisdom to shape them into stories that define who we truly are.

The death of the man I thought was my biological father is not an end but a catalyst for my personal growth. I carry his legacy of abandonment, but I am not defined by it. With a heart filled with contemplation, I forge ahead, embracing the uncertainty of life’s journey, and uncovering the truths that lie within my own soul.