personal-growth – Reba Nietert

There is a specific kind of exhaustion that comes from carrying a past you’ve already outlived. Lately, I’ve been wrestling with the ghosts of my own choices, feeling the weight of things I thought were buried. This post is my exhaling. It is a declaration of where I’ve been, what I’ve done, and the mercy I am finally choosing to accept.”

If you are carrying a weight that was never meant for your shoulders, I invite you to leave a piece of it here. What is one thing you are ready to forgive yourself for today? Let’s walk toward the light together.

For days, my mind has been a battlefield where peace went to die. I have been breathing the stale air of a “past long gone,” dragging old ghosts into the present until my soul became heavy with the haunting. I felt it in my marrow and in the “second brain” of my stomach—a rising acid of remorse, a conflict of the ego that no medicine could soothe.

I realized that to swallow this bitterness any longer would be to drown.

Today, I choose the only way out: The way of the Alchemist. I am turning my culpability into a present accountability. I am not merely apologizing for my struggle; I am honoring it by allowing it to become a testimony.

The Confession

I walked a path of shadows and ill repute,

Weaving webs of manipulation for a life of gilded ease.

I cost men their kingdoms to furnish my own,

Trading integrity for a view few ever see.

I asked for love, and when the Great Provider gave a seed,

I let fear bloom where a child should have grown.

I cast away the miracle to keep the ghost of my freedom,

Choosing the cold silence of “no” over the warmth of “yes.”

I have been the architect of my own envy,

Comparing my reflection to a world of curated lies.

I have been lazy in my promises and a shortcut-taker in my craft,

Slandering the innocent and dismissing the weary with a judge’s gavel.

I have lacked the very character I claimed to possess,

Wounding the seen and the unseen with the sharp edge of my ego.

The Surrender

But the acid has reached the brim, and I am finished with the burning.

Heavenly Father, I stand before You stripped of my pretenses.

I confess the stains, the shortcuts, and the intentional hurts.

I ask for the blood of Jesus to act as a holy solvent—

To wash the “ill repute” until only the “reputation of Grace” remains.

Forgive me for the pain I caused that I cannot see.

Forgive me for the years I spent coveting what was never mine.

Take the lordship of every broken room in my heart.

The New Spirit

I exchange my “second ego” for Your first-rate Peace.

I thank You for the courage to look at my reflection without flinching,

And for the mercy that refuses to run dry, even when I am parched.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

The struggle is honored. The sin is covered. The testimony begins.

I’ve learned that my body was never meant to be a warehouse for my regrets. It was meant to be a temple for my peace. How are you tending to your temple today?

We’ve all been there. That heavy, sinking feeling where you look around at your life—your job, your habits, your relationships—and something just feels off. You’re functioning, you’re busy, but the question keeps whispering: “Who am I, really, and what am I doing?”

This isn’t a failure. This feeling of being “lost” is actually a profound call to action. It’s your soul telling you that the map you’ve been following no longer leads to your true north. And the way to find your bearings again? It’s time to conduct a personal Identity Audit.

What Exactly is an Identity Audit?

Think of your life as a large, beautiful home. Over the years, you’ve filled it with furniture, decorations, and even junk—some of it yours, some of it inherited, and some of it just things you bought because everyone else had them.

An Identity Audit is simply a compassionate, systematic inventory of that house:

The Inventory: You look at your core values, your day-to-day actions, the roles you play (parent, professional, friend), and your deepest beliefs about yourself and the world.
The Alignment Check: You ask: Does this item truly belong to me? Does this belief still serve my highest good? Does this role truly reflect who I want to be now?
The Re-Centering: It’s the process of deliberately shedding the things that don’t align and intentionally choosing to nurture the parts of you that have been waiting to be seen.

It’s not about judgment; it’s about alignment. You’re not “fixing” a broken person; you’re simply clearing the clutter so your authentic self can finally shine through.

Why You Feel Lost—And Why the Audit is the Antidote

That “lost” feeling is often a sign of misalignment. Here are three common culprits that an Identity Audit helps uncover:

1. Wearing Someone Else’s Armor 🛡️

For years, you may have been wearing an identity—a soft armor—that you built for protection or to meet someone else’s expectations. Maybe it’s the “successful executive,” the “perfect partner,” or the “easy-going friend.” This armor worked for a time, but it’s become too heavy, too tight, and it’s obscuring the real you. The audit asks: What beliefs am I holding onto because I think I ‘should’ be someone else?

2. Your Values Have Evolved, But Your Life Hasn’t 🌲

You are not a static being. The person who valued hustle and external achievement at 25 may now, at 35 or 45, yearn for presence, creativity, and deeper connection. When your daily life and commitments are still based on your old values, the disconnect causes that feeling of emptiness. The audit helps you articulate your current core values and shows you where your time and energy need to be redirected.

3. You’re Living on Autopilot ✈️

Loss of identity happens when you stop asking questions. You just keep going through the motions. An Identity Audit forces you to take the stick back. It’s a moment of radical self-reflection where you become the active architect of your life, not just a passenger in it.

Reclaim Your Center. Step Into Your Soft Armor.

The journey from “lost” to “found” is less about finding a new destination and more about realizing you were never truly gone—you were just hidden beneath layers of outdated narratives.

An Identity Audit is the gentle, yet powerful process of remembering who you are at your core, and building a life that feels authentic, sustainable, and right. It’s about designing a life that feels like a comfortable, protective embrace—your Soft Armor.

If this resonates with that quiet, yearning part of you, you are exactly where you need to be. There are tools, resources, and a supportive community ready to guide you through this process of self-discovery and realignment.

Ready to gently begin the inventory of your beautiful, complex self?

Find your way home. Click here to explore the path to your most aligned self at thesoftarmor.com.

Where your strength lies in your softness.

Tag: personal-growth

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