Month: March 2019

amwriting

The Key to Intimacy: The Power of Communication in Long-Term Relationships

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2019 – Rebecca Nietert

Introduction:

Welcome to a discussion on the foundations of lasting intimacy in long-term relationships. As we journey through the years of marriage and companionship, one vital ingredient stands out above all else: effective communication. In this blog, we will explore the role of courage, trust, and open dialogue in cultivating a deep connection with your partner, as well as the importance of addressing shared values and concerns as you navigate life together.

Courage: The Gateway to Intimacy

To achieve true intimacy, it is crucial to recognize and overcome the internal fears that hinder our ability to open up to another person. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to allow ourselves the vulnerability necessary for establishing profound trust. By conquering our fears, we create space for genuine connection and emotional intimacy to flourish.

Trust and the Power of Open Dialogue

Trust forms the bedrock upon which intimacy is built, and maintaining it requires ongoing communication. Both partners must actively engage in honest and transparent dialogue, discussing a range of crucial topics to ensure alignment and understanding. Questions like “What if we fall in love?”, “Can you envision a lifelong connection with me?”, or “How would we raise children?” become valuable conversations that foster trust and unity. Engaging in these discussions allows for a clear understanding of each person’s desires, values, and life goals.

The Importance of Sharing Values

In long-term relationships, it is essential to identify and communicate your personal values. By openly discussing your “What’s important to me” list, you and your partner can gain a deeper insight into each other’s beliefs, desires, and aspirations. Embrace the similarities and differences that arise from these discussions, for they hold the potential to enrich your relationship and foster a deeper understanding of one another.

The Subconscious Influence: Overcoming Familial Conditioning

Our upbringing often molds our perceptions and behaviors, particularly through the influence of dominant parental figures. However, we have the power to break free from these subconscious patterns by consciously exploring and discussing our personal experiences and cultural conditioning. Understanding and addressing these influences together as a couple allows for personal growth and paves the way for a more authentic and harmonious relationship.

Conclusion:

As we conclude our exploration of achieving intimacy in long-term relationships, let us reflect upon the importance of courageous communication and earnest dialogue. By fostering trust, openly discussing our dreams, values, and concerns, we create an environment where true intimacy can thrive. Embrace the differences, the challenges, and the growth that come with a heartfelt connection. Together, let us embark on a journey towards a deeper, more fulfilling relationship – one built on a foundation of trust, empathy, and open communication.

As we part ways, remember that communication is not a once-off task, but a continuous process that requires nurturing and effort. Embrace the opportunity to grow together, knowing that the rewards of genuine and lasting intimacy are beyond measure.

Human Interest

The Year of Firsts: Navigating Loss and Resilience

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2029 – Rebecca Nietert

In this narrative essay, I will explore the emotional journey of our family as we welcomed three children who had experienced the tragic loss of their parents due to cancer. The first year of their arrival taught us invaluable lessons about resilience, support, and the complexities of grief. As a caregiver, guardian, and chief raising officer, I navigated the challenges with determination to provide a nurturing environment for these children to heal and grow.

Body:

1. The Burden of Emotional Control:

As the caregiver, I soon realized that expressing my own emotions about the process of welcoming and caring for these children was met with discomfort by many well-meaning individuals. There was an expectation for me to be emotionally controlled throughout this terrifying experience. This realization made me aware of the societal pressure to appear strong and capable, even during the most overwhelming moments. However, it is essential to acknowledge that caregivers also go through emotional turmoil and should be given the space to express their vulnerabilities without judgment.

2. The Resilience of Children:

While the children were tragically sad during their initial year with us, we witnessed their innate resilience shining through. Their ability to adapt, despite the immense loss they had suffered, was awe-inspiring. It served as a reminder of the indomitable spirit of children and their capacity to find hope and strength when faced with adversity. Although we knew their healing process would be ongoing, seeing glimpses of their resilience gave us renewed hope for their future.

3. Redefining Support:

As the new caregivers, we took on the role of their support system. We became their pillars of strength and the source of guidance as they navigated their grief. However, we noticed that once we assumed this role, the previous support network surrounding them seemed to disappear. While we were grateful for the responsibility entrusted to us, it was disheartening to witness the children experiencing further loss through the absence of their existing support structure. This realization highlighted the importance of comprehensive and continuous support for children who have faced profound loss.

4. The Year of Firsts:

The year 2017 became a poignant period for our family, as it marked the first time the children celebrated birthdays without their parents. These “firsts” were challenging milestones that reminded us all of the void left by their parents’ absence. However, they also provided opportunities for us to come together as a family, creating new traditions, and finding solace in shared memories. These experiences reinforced the significance of acknowledging and allowing space for grief while also embracing the possibilities for healing and growth.

Conclusion:

As we reflect on the journey through the first year with three children who have suffered immeasurable loss, we recognize the complexities of grief and the power of resilience. Despite societal expectations of emotional control, it is crucial to acknowledge and express our own emotions as caregivers. The children’s resilience and ability to adapt have been a source of inspiration, reminding us of the strength children possess in the face of profound tragedy. Moreover, this experience has shed light on the importance of comprehensive and continuous support systems for children who have experienced loss. Through navigating the “year of firsts,” our family has grown closer, finding solace and hope in the shared healing process.

Inspiration

Reflections on Anger – A Lesson in Letting Go

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2019 – Rebecca Nietert

It has been said that, “unforgiveness is like drinking poison, and expecting the other person to die.”

In the bustling whirlwind of everyday life, we often find ourselves inadvertently entwined in the emotions and conflicts of others. On a recent weekend, I became an unsuspecting observer to a heated exchange between two individuals, their anger permeating the air around them. As their words clashed with intensity, I couldn’t help but contemplate the underlying reasons for such pervasive anger. However, in the midst of my musings, I came to a realization that would fundamentally alter my perspective: my preoccupation with their plight was detracting from my own joyous experiences. This narrative seeks to explore this epiphany, providing an introspective account of the value in letting go and embracing the present moment.

Body:

Part I: The Power of Observation

As the sharp edges of their dispute pierced the tranquility of the space, I hesitated, caught between a shared empathy for their anger and the recognition that I had allowed it to consume my attention. Absorbing their words, I couldn’t help but admire their fervent dedication to their respective viewpoints. Nevertheless, I soon felt an overwhelming sense that my investment in their conflict was overshadowing the potential for my own happiness in that moment.

Part II: A Moment of Self-Realization

It was during a particularly poignant moment that her impassioned words struck a chord within me. Addressing her counterpart, she lamented his fixation on external matters, his obsession with criticizing and controlling the lives of others while neglecting his own. In that instant, her words served as a mirror, reflecting my own tendencies to become entangled in the dissatisfaction of those around me. This self-revelation marked the beginning of my introspective journey towards understanding and releasing this unyielding attachment.

Part III: Unearthing the Courage to Let Go

Recognizing the taxing effects of allowing the anger and problems of others to infiltrate our thoughts and emotions, I set forth on a path of self-reflection to understand the root of this unhelpful preoccupation. Through introspection, I uncovered a deep-seated concern for the well-being of those around me, coupled with a desire for peace and harmony. However, it became apparent that sacrificing my own bliss in an attempt to alleviate the anger of others was a futile endeavor, as it failed to address the underlying causes of their discontent.

Part IV: Embracing the Present Moment

With this newfound understanding, I resolved to redirect my focus towards the present and embrace the moments of joy that surrounded me each day. The realization that I am not responsible for the anger of others empowered me to cherish the beauty of the present moment and nourish my own happiness. By relinquishing the burden of external conflicts, I became attuned to the wonder in simple pleasures and discovered the transformative effects of mindfulness.

Conclusion:

Witnessing the charged exchange between those two individuals granted me valuable insight into the nature of anger and its influence on our lives. I came to understand that developing a sense of detachment from the anger of others lays the groundwork for personal growth and contentment. Learning to let go and embrace the precious moments that make up our lives is an ongoing journey, mastered through self-awareness and a willingness to prioritize our own happiness. By relinquishing control and refocusing our attention on the present, we can navigate the vast sea of emotions with resilience and find solace in the profound joy that lies within us.