I’m up late again, with worry running through my brain. It’s not enough to worry about my son going in to the Army, or even the relationships my kids have. Add bills, commitments, interpersonal workings, cultivating relationships, a marriage, ailing family members and animals and a whole slew of stressors and you have one wide awake woman!
Its not really my fault. I wasn’t taught how to manage my fears. Just to submerge myself in the worry of it all until I have just had enough! Then and only then does courage take a foothold. The cycle is similar to passive/aggressive, but offers more angst along the journey.
Life I have learned, has a funny way of smacking you right in the face when you least expect it. Sometimes it hurts so badly that it shakes the very will to live and other times it’s just movement to get you pointed in the right direction. Either way, to most, including me, sometimes change can be down right painful.
The question is what to do about people within a company who go out of their way to hurt people for selfish reasons? What makes someone want to hurt another person? Why do they do it and then hide behind others to get their way. Why do some people initiate harm and then are surprised by the outcome? My son says it’s a ‘disconnect’ with people. That they haven’t learned to be compassionate.
I have to ask, where did parental teaching go? Surely every mom wants their child to be kind? Was that not instilled or did a collective group of kids become of age, and decide amongst themselves that rules of logic, kindness, respect no longer matter? Have the Kapernicks of the world tainted the general public to the point where there is no sense of independent intellectual thought and thereby believe it’s okay to act like a two-year-old? This question plagues me. Why do people find joy in harming others?
I ponder these questions. I stay up late at night wondering what on earth I can do to make an impact. Call out a false prophet? Call a manipulator one to their face? Hold someone accountable? What if one does that and all that does is cause the offender more anger and more brokenness? Do we just ignore it? Leave it alone? Move on? Please, tell me if you know that answer, because when I point it out, I seem to be the only one burned.
Today someone sent me a horrible email. Wanted to make sure I felt the weight of his ability to bully me into compliance for posting a bad review. Yet, HIS company keeps contacting me! Threatening me! Proving my point how unbelievably inept they are. I just don’t understand people. Someone could have reached out, solved the problem, but nope. Just more intimidating tactics. Just makes my stomach ache for a time when people were plainly civil to each other.
Well, I have written it down. Caused my brain to rest so late at night I will fall asleep. G’night y’all. Sleep well.