Tag: Death

Journal Entry

The Alchemist’s Amen: A Declaration of Repentance

Reba Nietert

There is a specific kind of exhaustion that comes from carrying a past you’ve already outlived. Lately, I’ve been wrestling with the ghosts of my own choices, feeling the weight of things I thought were buried. This post is my exhaling. It is a declaration of where I’ve been, what I’ve done, and the mercy I am finally choosing to accept.”

If you are carrying a weight that was never meant for your shoulders, I invite you to leave a piece of it here. What is one thing you are ready to forgive yourself for today? Let’s walk toward the light together.

For days, my mind has been a battlefield where peace went to die. I have been breathing the stale air of a “past long gone,” dragging old ghosts into the present until my soul became heavy with the haunting. I felt it in my marrow and in the “second brain” of my stomach—a rising acid of remorse, a conflict of the ego that no medicine could soothe.

I realized that to swallow this bitterness any longer would be to drown.

Today, I choose the only way out: The way of the Alchemist. I am turning my culpability into a present accountability. I am not merely apologizing for my struggle; I am honoring it by allowing it to become a testimony.

The Confession

I walked a path of shadows and ill repute,

Weaving webs of manipulation for a life of gilded ease.

I cost men their kingdoms to furnish my own,

Trading integrity for a view few ever see.

I asked for love, and when the Great Provider gave a seed,

I let fear bloom where a child should have grown.

I cast away the miracle to keep the ghost of my freedom,

Choosing the cold silence of “no” over the warmth of “yes.”

I have been the architect of my own envy,

Comparing my reflection to a world of curated lies.

I have been lazy in my promises and a shortcut-taker in my craft,

Slandering the innocent and dismissing the weary with a judge’s gavel.

I have lacked the very character I claimed to possess,

Wounding the seen and the unseen with the sharp edge of my ego.

The Surrender

But the acid has reached the brim, and I am finished with the burning.

Heavenly Father, I stand before You stripped of my pretenses.

I confess the stains, the shortcuts, and the intentional hurts.

I ask for the blood of Jesus to act as a holy solvent—

To wash the “ill repute” until only the “reputation of Grace” remains.

Forgive me for the pain I caused that I cannot see.

Forgive me for the years I spent coveting what was never mine.

Take the lordship of every broken room in my heart.

The New Spirit

I exchange my “second ego” for Your first-rate Peace.

I thank You for the courage to look at my reflection without flinching,

And for the mercy that refuses to run dry, even when I am parched.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

The struggle is honored. The sin is covered. The testimony begins.

I’ve learned that my body was never meant to be a warehouse for my regrets. It was meant to be a temple for my peace. How are you tending to your temple today?

Inspiration, The Children

A Journey of Love and Resilience: Embracing the Firsts

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2017 – Rebecca Nietert

Today, I want to share with you the incredible and heartwarming journey I have embarked upon, as I find myself raising three beautiful children who have experienced the profound loss of their parents. In this blog, I hope to convey the resilience and strength of these incredible young souls, while also inviting you to join me in becoming their cheerleaders on this path of discovery and growth. Together, let us celebrate the power of love, hope, and the beauty found within the firsts.

A Surprising Resilience:

At first, I expected life to be filled with challenges and uncertainties as I stepped into this role. However, the truth revealed itself to me in the most unexpected ways. Children are remarkably resilient, capable of adapting and embracing life with an incredible zest. Despite the hardships they have faced, their spirit shines through, teaching me invaluable lessons about resilience and joy.

Embracing the Firsts:

In the months to come, I am thrilled to introduce you to each child’s unique personality, and allow you to witness the beauty of their journey through the firsts – those precious and transformative moments that shape their lives. From their first steps to their first day of school, we will explore how these milestones become small victories, reminding us of the strength and perseverance that reside within each child.

Trials and Joy Unveiled:

Life’s trials and moments of pure joy often arise unannounced, and for these children, such experiences bubble up without permission. Through their stories, we will delve into the unpredictable nature of life and celebrate the resilience that empowers them to face new challenges head-on, with a remarkable sense of curiosity and wonder.

Falling in Love with these Hearts:

As I have journeyed alongside these children, I have come to fall deeply in love with their spirits. Their innocence, their laughter, and their endless capacity for love have captivated my heart. I invite you to join me in sharing this same affection for them – to become their cheerleaders and advocates, providing them with the unwavering support and encouragement that every child deserves.

Becoming Their Parent:

In this newfound role, I wholeheartedly embrace the responsibility of being their parent. I promise to love them with the same fierce devotion that I would my own children. Their happiness, well-being, and growth are my utmost priorities, and I am committed to providing them with the guidance, nurturing, and boundaries they need to thrive.

Conclusion:

Dear reader,

The journey of raising these three wonderful children has taught me invaluable lessons about resilience, hope, and the immense ability of the human spirit to persevere. Together, let us celebrate life’s firsts and cheer on these incredible souls. May this be a reminder that love and support can transform lives, and that each child’s story is worth sharing and celebrating.

Thank you for joining me on this journey.

With heartfelt gratitude,

Reba

The Children

Embracing the Broken: A Journey of Love and Healing

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2017 – Rebecca Nietert

Three years ago, when I was asked if I would love them like they’re my own, I had no idea of the magnitude of that commitment. I simply wanted to be part of the village that could help raise these kids. Little did I know that they had come to me carrying the weight of brokenness, longing for the love and stability they had been deprived of. In this heartfelt blog, I will recount the challenges and rewards of taking on the responsibility of nurturing children who had known little but instability and uncertainty.

A Broken Foundation:

The absence of constant parental attention had left deep wounds on these children’s hearts. They struggled academically, their behavior exhibited signs of their pain, and they found solace in sucking the life out of every fleeting moment, believing that all people who enter our lives eventually leave. It was clear that they craved something more, something stable and lasting.

The Power of Unconditional Love:

Amidst their brokenness, it became evident that their parents had loved them dearly. It was this foundation of love that provided a glimpse of the good within them, buried beneath layers of insecurity and doubt. With unconditional love as the guiding principle, I embarked on a journey to create a nurturing environment where they could heal and grow into their true potential.

Embracing the Role of Authority:

For these children to find stability, a balance needed to be found between love and discipline. As the authority figure in their lives, it was my responsibility to set boundaries, establish routines, and teach them important life skills. This delicate balance allowed them to feel secure while also instilling a sense of accountability and self-respect.

A Village Built on Support:

Recognizing the enormity of the task at hand, it became clear that it takes more than one person to mend the broken pieces. Creating a village of support became imperative. Seeking guidance from therapists, educators, and other caregivers enriched their experience, allowing them to blossom under a community committed to their well-being.

Finding Healing and Growth:

Over time, as these children felt the unwavering commitment of love surrounding them, they began to heal. Their academic performance improved, their behavior stabilized, and a newfound sense of belonging emerged. It was within this safe space that they started to believe in the possibility of lasting relationships and a future filled with unconditional love.

Conclusion:

Taking on the responsibility of nurturing broken children is not for the faint of heart. It requires immense love, dedication, and a deep understanding of the lasting impact that stability and unwavering support can have on their lives. By creating an environment rooted in love and embracing the role of authority, we can offer broken children a chance to heal, grow, and rewrite their narratives.

We must remember that the strength of the village lies in its ability to provide a safe and nurturing space, a place where brokenness can be mended and hearts can find solace. May we all be inspired to open our arms wide and embrace those in need, helping them rediscover the beauty and resilience within themselves.

Inspiration

Capturing Innocence: A Timeless Gift of Love and Wisdom

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2013 – Rebecca Nietert

In a world where promises are easily made and often forgotten, the fragility and preciousness of life constantly remind us of the transient nature of our existence. As a parent, I recognized from a tender age that my children’s lives would be shaped by countless individuals who may come and go. It was in this awareness that I made a conscious choice not to promise eternal protection, but instead sought to capture the essence of their innocence as they grew. Today, I invite you on a heartfelt journey, where the wisdom and purity of children’s words inspire us to embrace the beauty of life, love, and the power of heartfelt promises.

A Promise Beyond Time:

When my daughter was just five years old, she shared with me her simple yet profound vision of her future wedding. In that moment, I glimpsed her innocence and the dreams she held so dearly. Inspired by her words, I wrote a letter, diligently capturing every cherished detail she shared – the pink pretty bridesmaid dresses, the green ribbons adorning their waists, and the tenderness in her voice as she prayed for her dreams to come true. Then, with love and anticipation, I sealed the envelope and inscribed upon it, “Open on your wedding day.”

The Power of Authentic Promises:

In a world where empty vows can erode trust, it is essential to hold ourselves accountable for the promises we make. As parents, we strive to ensure that our words reflect our truth, even when the truth is a harsh reality. By refraining from making false assurances of everlasting protection, we teach our children that life is a delicate tapestry of joy and sorrow, and in that tapestry lies the power to embrace each fleeting moment with gratitude, love, and integrity.

The Gift of Captured Innocence:

As the years passed, I continued to write letters inspired by the pure and honest reflections of my children. These missives from the mouth of babes serve as time capsules, preserving the enchantment and untainted wisdom of their innocent hearts. These letters bear witness to their growth, dreams, hopes, and aspirations, encapsulating the essence of their unique journeys as they navigate the ever-changing tides of life.

A Treasure Unveiled:

The day that my daughter, now grown, will open the envelope labeled “Open on your wedding day” will be a poignant reminder of how swiftly time passes and how our dreams evolve. Beyond the details of that long-ago vision lies an enduring and timeless gift – a testament to the depth of a mother’s love and the beauty of promises kept. It is a tangible symbol of the unbreakable bond between parent and child, and the legacy of love that is woven into the fabric of our lives.

Conclusion:

Let us take a moment to reflect upon the tenderness and innocence that surrounds us, often forgotten amidst the chaos of our daily lives. May we be inspired by the pure and heartfelt words of children, recognizing that within their innocent dreams lie profound insights and timeless wisdom. Let us embrace the power of authenticity, mindful of the promises we make, and cherish every opportunity to capture and preserve the treasures of innocence as they manifest in our lives. In doing so, we cultivate a lasting legacy of love, guiding our children toward a future where their dreams may flourish and their hearts may forever remain untainted.