Tag: family

Human Interest

The Evolution of Friendship: Building Connections that Last

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert 

Friendship is a journey that unfolds in stages, each one contributing to the rich tapestry of our social lives. Here are five distinct stages of friendship that reflect different levels of connection and intimacy:

1. Acquaintances: These are the individuals we may cross paths with a handful of times, perhaps at a social event or in a shared space. While you might recognize them or exchange pleasantries, there’s no deeper bond yet. You might find yourself intrigued, wondering about their story, or simply content to greet them when your paths cross.

2. Casual Friends: This stage often includes coworkers, classmates, or familiar faces from gatherings. You enjoy their company in a laid-back setting, sharing laughs and light-hearted conversations. However, you wouldn’t prioritize planning to spend time together outside of those casual encounters. They add enjoyment to your life but don’t require the deeper investment of time or emotion.

3. Close Friends: As your connection deepens, you find yourself making special efforts to see these friends and maintain regular communication. These are the people with whom you share experiences, valuable moments, and even the occasional vulnerability. You can count on them for understanding and support, creating a bond grounded in trust and shared memories.

4. Intimate Friends: At the pinnacle of friendship lies the intimate connection. These individuals become your confidants — the ones with whom you feel safe sharing your innermost thoughts and secrets. You trust them explicitly and know they’ll stand by your side through thick and thin. In this space, the friendship transcends casual interactions, becoming a vital part of your life journey.

5. Lifelong Friends: This stage represents relationships that weather the test of time. These friends are essentially family, and your lives are intricately intertwined. You celebrate milestones together, provide unwavering support, and experience the ebbs and flows of life hand in hand. This is the culmination of all previous stages, showcasing a bond that is both deep and enduring.

Throughout our lives, friendships evolve, bringing unique flavors to our existence. Each stage of friendship serves as a reminder of how essential human connection is to our well-being. Yet, it’s important to understand that certain pitfalls can hinder these cherished relationships. Often, it’s the lack of shared experiences or mismatched expectations that lead to misunderstandings and heartache.

Here are five common mistakes that can jeopardize a friendship:

1. Expecting a Friend to Be Everything: It’s easy to think that one person should fulfill all our emotional needs, but this expectation can put an immense strain on any friendship.

2. Bringing Baggage to the Table: We all walk into friendships with our own histories and experiences. Forgetting this can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of compassion.

3. Setting Unrealistic Expectations: Friendships thrive on authenticity, but expecting perfection can create unnecessary tension and disappointment.

4. Staying in the “Fine” Zone: Skimming the surface and avoiding deeper conversations limits the potential for growth and intimacy in a friendship.

5. Worrying About Perception: When we focus on how our friends perceive us, we risk hiding our true selves. Trust is built on authenticity, and being open fosters a deeper bond.

Friendship should be a sanctuary of comfort—a space that feels unconditional, tolerant, and above all, loving. It should embrace the essence of a warm, well-worn pair of slippers—familiar and reassuring. By acknowledging these common traps, we can nurture our friendships into something truly extraordinary, allowing them to flourish through every stage of life.

Human Interest, Inspiration

Understanding Emotional Detachment: Navigating Connections in Relationships

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert

Emotional detachment can often feel like a silent barrier between individuals, preventing deeper connections. This phenomenon arises when someone struggles to engage emotionally with others, often as a means of shielding themselves from drama, anxiety, or stress. For some, this sense of detachment is a protective mechanism, while for others, it may stem from past experiences that hinder their ability to express feelings openly.

While cultivating personal independence in a relationship is healthy—each partner maintaining their own interests and activities—there are nuances that can reveal much about the emotional climate of the relationship. For instance, engaging in solo hobbies, whether it’s attending a weekend yoga class, playing sports with friends, or discovering new coffee shops without your partner, is not inherently negative. However, if one partner frequently makes plans alone, it may indicate a disconnection that warrants attention. 

That’s when it’s essential to pause and reflect: If your partner is consistently choosing solo activities and distancing themselves from shared experiences, it might be a signal that they are emotionally checked out. This realization calls for an open and honest conversation about the relationship dynamics and feelings involved, fostering a space for understanding and addressing potential issues together.

Healthy sleep holds remarkable power—it can enhance our relationships, while sleepless nights can threaten to unravel the very bonds we hold dear. Consider a familiar scenario: one partner drifts off to sleep, only to be met with the unmistakable sound of snoring. The other partner, wide awake and frazzled, lies in bed tossing and turning, silently fuming until they finally resort to giving the snorer an exasperated jab to the ribs. In this moment, both partners find themselves in a restless night, with one feeling an increasing sense of resentment. This sets off a vicious cycle: sleep issues lead to relationship strain, wreaking havoc on both personal health and overall well-being.

In addition to sleep, another vital element in relationships is privacy. It’s a fundamental human right that every individual deserves, even within the confines of marriage. Understanding privacy does not equate to secrecy is crucial. In any relationship, it’s natural and healthy to maintain certain boundaries, allowing each partner some personal space. Yet, caution is warranted when that privacy veers into excessive secrecy. 

For instance, our phones serve as personal devices filled with sensitive information, including contacts and messages. It’s perfectly acceptable to keep certain aspects of our lives private. However, if one partner feels prompted to constantly check the other’s phone or demand access to personal accounts without justification, it may indicate an imbalance that needs to be addressed. 

Balancing healthy sleep and personal privacy creates a foundation for thriving relationships. Recognizing the signs of sleep disturbances and respecting boundaries can help partners foster deeper connections, paving the way for understanding, support, and harmony in their lives together. Ultimately, prioritizing these elements can lead to not just better sleep, but also more fulfilling and resilient relationships.

In many relationships, there exists a nuanced dynamic where one partner may possess a fragile sense of self-esteem. For these individuals, their self-worth can become precariously intertwined with external validation and admiration. This reliance on outside opinions creates an environment ripe for defensiveness, as any hint of criticism or challenge can feel like a direct threat to their already fragile self-image.

At the core of such behavior often lies an overwhelming need for control and dominance. When faced with perceived challenges to their authority or superiority, these individuals respond defensively, striving to reclaim a sense of power. This defensive attitude doesn’t arise from a place of strength, but rather from a fear of inadequacy. Instead of engaging empathetically with the perspectives of others, the defensive partner may struggle to understand how their actions affect those around them.

As conversations evolve, this defensive stance can lead to a dismissive attitude towards the feelings of others. Perceived criticisms are often met with reflexive denial or rationalization, where the partner distorts reality in an effort to protect their ego. In such cases, they might rewrite the narrative of events, asserting their version while undermining others’ perceptions and emotions.

This cycle breeds manipulation and gaslighting—where the defensive partner’s behavior causes others to question their own realities and feelings. They may find themselves apologizing for their perceptions, caught in a web of confusion created by the defensive individual’s need to maintain control.

Recognizing this pattern is an essential first step towards fostering healthier dynamics in relationships. Through open communication and fostering self-awareness, both partners can work towards understanding the root causes of defensiveness, creating a safe space where all voices are heard and validated. Ultimately, by addressing these underlying issues, partners can pave the way for deeper connections built on empathy, respect, and mutual support.

Words, often seen as tools for connection and communication, can also serve as subtle weapons in the hands of those who prioritize control over partnership. In many relationships, a self-centered individual can disguise their true intentions behind a façade of introversion, humility, or a self-effacing persona. However, beneath this mask lies a sophisticated strategy to manipulate and control those around them. 

It’s essential to recognize the phrases that these individuals may commonly deploy, as these words can significantly undermine a partner’s sense of self-worth and reality. Here are some examples of manipulation disguised as casual conversation:

– “You are overreacting.” 

– “I am always misunderstood.”

– “You’re too sensitive.”

– “I was just joking.” 

– “Nobody else sees it that way.”

– “Okay, you’re just imagining things.” 

– “It didn’t happen that way.” 

– “No one will ever love you the way I do.” 

– “You always make everything about yourself.” 

– “I wasn’t rude; I was just being honest.” 

– “No one will ever love you the way I do.” 

Each of these phrases serves a purpose: to dismiss, discredit, and ultimately control the narrative within the relationship. By labeling a partner’s emotions as exaggerated or unfounded, the manipulator positions themselves as the ultimate authority on feelings and experiences. This tactic fosters an environment of confusion and self-doubt, making it difficult for the affected partner to assert their own reality.

Understanding the implications of these phrases is a critical step in recognizing manipulative behaviors. By calling attention to these patterns and addressing them directly, partners can work towards healthier communication and assert their needs without fear of dismissal. 

In relationships marked by such manipulation, it’s vital for individuals to seek support, whether from friends, family, or professionals. By reinforcing their own sense of self and fostering open dialogue, partners can break free from the cycle of manipulation, paving the way for a more balanced and respectful relationship. In the end, a true partnership thrives on understanding, empathy, and mutual respect—none of which can flourish in a landscape riddled with control and manipulation.

In a relationship where one partner consistently makes all the significant moves without ever seeking consultation, it may signal an underlying belief that they view you as less worthy or capable. This dynamic can manifest in various ways; perhaps your partner believes their social status, financial success, physical attractiveness, or inherent qualities—like their gender—grant them sole authority over decisions, leaving you to simply follow along.

At first glance, this seemingly confident behavior may feel reassuring. You might appreciate the sense of being cared for and taken charge of. However, as time passes, the initial impression of security gives way to feelings of disempowerment. You may begin to sense that your thoughts, opinions, and authentic needs are being sidelined. A relationship characterized by this imbalance is not healthy and can lead to feelings of being used or overlooked.

As the reality of your situation unfolds, it’s common to experience regret for not asserting your voice or standing up for your needs. When a partner fails to envision a future with you, they will unconsciously treat significant decisions as unilateral choices rather than collaborative discussions. This lack of consultation can create distance, leading to a feeling of isolation and dissatisfaction.

Recognizing the signs of this dynamic is crucial for your emotional well-being. It’s important to understand that your voice matters. A healthy relationship thrives on equality, where both partners are encouraged to express their thoughts and feelings, contribute to decision-making, and cultivate a shared vision for the future. 

If you find yourself doubting your worth in the relationship, it may be time to engage in an open and honest conversation. Discuss your feelings and the need for a more balanced approach to decision-making. By addressing these concerns, you can create a space for growth, understanding, and, ideally, a healthier partnership where both individuals feel valued and heard. Remember, no one should ever feel that their needs and aspirations are any less important in a loving relationship.

In the intricate dance of human relationships, we often encounter partners who seem unwilling or unable to engage in meaningful dialogue. These hostile individuals struggle to negotiate, cooperate, or collaborate. Their inability to back down or accept responsibility creates an environment where constructive communication becomes nearly impossible. Instead of fostering mutual understanding, traditional strategies—like reflective listening, compromise, and perspective sharing—can become landmines, igniting further conflict rather than resolution.

These partners often staunchly believe that their approach to communication is the only valid one, dismissing alternative viewpoints and labeling those around them as inept. Communication with them can feel like navigating a minefield, where every attempt at connection could lead to an explosive argument. Understanding this dynamic is crucial as it highlights the need for new strategies, ones that acknowledge the limitations of traditional methods in the face of hostility. Recognizing these challenges is the first step toward seeking healthier, more productive interactions.

Human Interest, Inspiration

Pensively Remembering my Mom; My Friend

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024

In the quiet corners of your home, where laughter should thrive, a heavy silence often takes its place—a silence filled with the echoes of constant criticism and belittlement. You remember the stinging words of your mother, each one carefully crafted to chip away at your sense of self. With every harsh name and cutting comment about your appearance or abilities, you felt the weight of her judgment bearing down, as if you could never get anything right. Each interaction leaves you with the lingering question: Am I enough?

Yet, it’s not just the words that haunt you. The moments she withdraws her affection, using it as a weapon, leave you feeling adrift in a sea of uncertainty. You find yourself striving to earn the love you so desperately seek, always on edge—wondering if today will be the day you finally meet her expectations. You ask yourself, why must love be conditioned upon your actions? Why does it feel like a reward that dangles just out of reach?

And then, there are the times when she plays the blame game, turning her own struggles into burdens for your young shoulders. With every accusation, you become the scapegoat for her unhappiness, her anger unceremoniously cast upon you. You feel pinned under the weight of her emotions, as if you are responsible for her darkest days. Each misplaced anger has you questioning your existence, begging internally for her approval while fearing her discontent.

As you navigate through life, her grip tightens. She attempts to isolate you from laughter and joy, pulling you away from friends and family, as if keeping you close is her only way to feel secure. Pursuing your interests or hobbies feels like a distant fantasy, overshadowed by her silent disapproval—an unspoken rule that your happiness must bend beneath her needs.

The walls close in, and you wonder how much longer you can endure this emotional storm. This tumultuous relationship leaves you feeling lost, a mere shadow of who you could be—trapped in a cycle that threatens to persist. How do you break free? How do you reclaim the love that should never have come with strings attached? In this fight for self-worth, you know the journey ahead is long and fraught, but perhaps, just perhaps, there’s a glimmer of hope waiting to be uncovered.

And then, in the violent finality of her passing, a flood of memories rushes in—jagged shards of the past melding with whispers of the joyful moments we shared. It’s an unsettling collision, where the hurt feels entwined with the love I carry deep within me. I can’t escape the truth: I love her. Deeply. 

As I reflect on the years we spent together, especially in her last days, I realize how invaluable our bond became. Despite the weight of our troubled history, in those fleeting moments of clarity, I saw her as my greatest ally, my biggest cheerleader. She stood by me, instilling a sense of belief I had yearned for, even amidst the remnants of my broken childhood.

Yet, there’s a lingering ache, an acknowledgment of the pieces of me that are still fractured and may never fully heal. The wounds she inflicted haunt me, but within that darkness, I’ve learned that forgiveness holds an undeniable power. It’s a complex path, a painful admission that love can coexist with regret and sorrow. In my heart, I know that while my struggles remain, the warmth of our friendship in her final years shines brightly through the haze, illuminating the truth that love—though complicated—can be the balm for even the deepest wounds.

In this tangled mess of emotions, I am learning to reclaim my narrative. The weight of my grief is heavy, but slowly, I am finding solace in the understanding that forgiveness is not a gift for her; it is a gift I give to myself.

NOTE: Everyone has their own story. My mother‘s story is complex and derived from parents raised through the great depression. I cannot tell her story. I can only tell my own. When she passed, I realized I had suppressed a bunch of really good memories. While I struggle with the challenges, my life has been full, and I am grateful that we were able to get to an unconditional loving relationship at the end of her life. 

Human Interest

A September Day Turns to Turned to “Law & Order”

Reba Nietert

Copyright-2024 Rebecca Nietert

I woke up this morning to my dog jumping on my chest like he just won the lottery, enthusiastically slathering me with slobbery kisses – Remi’s version of a wake-up call. Thank goodness for him, because apparently, I’ve mastered the fine art of time travel: last night, I set my alarm for p.m. instead of a.m. Who knew 10 p.m. could feel so much like 8 a.m.? I leapt from bed, heart racing like I’d just chugged three cups of coffee, and dashed outside with Remi and Dakota.

After a thrilling sprint worthy of the Olympics, I had to wrangle in Scooby, my daughter’s overly pampered pup. Poor guy’s got zero yard privileges thanks to my daughter’s questionable real estate choices, so he’s stuck with morning leash missions. After what felt like an eternity of Scooby contemplating life’s big questions while sniffing every blade of grass, we were finally back inside. 

Now my dogs were bouncing around like they’d just been told there’s a sale on treats, practically performing their own canine version of “The Nutcracker.” I whipped up their breakfast, channeling my inner chef with a speed that would impress even Gordon Ramsay, and then bolted into the bathroom for my own personal revival: a quick freshen-up, relief on the porcelain throne, and a hastily pulled-together outfit that could only be described as “I’m running late but somehow still cute.”

At this point, it’s 8 a.m., and I realize I’m officially two hours away from the city and a doctor’s appointment that seems to require me to bring half my life in the car. So here I am, juggling dogs, snacks for said dogs, and a bag overflowing with everything but my lost sense of time. All while racing against the clock like I’m starring in my very own action movie. Buckle up, because it’s going to be a wild ride!

I was making my way to Sharon’s house. My husband Scott decided to ring me up like I was the keeper of some ancient treasure. “Do you have the key?” he asked, as if the fate of our entry depended on my answer. Honestly, I hadn’t even considered how we’d get inside! Luckily, the universe conspired in my favor—Laura had left the door lock open for my grand entrance, having chitchatted with me the night before about her dog-sitting plans for Scooby later that evening.

So, I waltzed into the house like I owned the place—armed with enough dog power to fill a small zoo. With the pack all corralled inside, I noticed Scooby gave me that classic “I need to go” look. You know the one: a mix of urgency and a silent plea as if saying, “If you don’t let me out, I might just turn this carpet into my personal restroom!” 

So, off we went, leash in hand, while my other little fur tornadoes poked their noses through the white picket fence slats like they were auditioning for a canine version of “Prison Break.” They seemed genuinely baffled as to why they couldn’t join us on the great outdoor adventure. Spoiler alert: They were not invited!

After Scooby took care of his business, we transformed the living room into a cozy dog haven. Out came the cage from the bedroom, and I strategically placed it in the center like it was the stage at a pet-themed Broadway show. It was either that or watch Remi chew through her beloved furniture. And trust me, I’ve seen him do it. Dakota, the self-appointed queen of calm, earned her stay-out-of-the-cage pass, and just like that, Scooby claimed the couch as his throne. A couple of motivational nudges, and all that was left was to remind them, “Mommy’ll be right back!”

With that, I bolted off to my doctor’s appointment, feeling like a one-woman circus, leaving behind my furry entourage, who I was convinced would either nap or plot world domination in her home.

I waltz into my doctor’s office, all spruced up and ready for some shoulder answers—because, you know, who doesn’t love a good medical mystery? But alas! The suspense thickens like gravy at Thanksgiving: my shoulder scans are MIA. I mean, come on, does anyone even check the file cabinet anymore? 

I’m left standing there, staring at the new orthopedic doc like he’s a contestant on a game show who just buzzed in with a “What-is-it?” answer. You see, my previous orthopedic guru had decided that the world was just too much for him and checked out of life unexpectedly. I received the letter—no drama, no farewell party, just a simple “He passed.” I thought, “Wow, did he at least leave a note telling me how to fix my shoulder?” Apparently not.

So, I launch into my tragic shoulder saga for the umpteenth time, trying to explain how this all feels like I’ve been in an intense grapple with a grizzly bear—one that didn’t even invite me to dinner first. I mention that my shoulder still resembles a deflated balloon after a kid’s party, and I’m on a tight deadline to get this sorted out before my big trip to Colorado on Monday. I mean, I can’t have a broken arm ruining my chance to go snowboarding and inevitably break more bones!

Now, bless the new doc; he’s really trying hard. You’d think he was training for the Olympics with how much he bends over backward to understand my tragic tale of woe. But what’s a party without props? He discovers that the x-rays are a no-show, like that one friend who always says they’ll come but is too busy binge-watching their favorite show. So, off we trot for a new set of pictures because clearly, my shoulders were not photogenic enough the first time around.

He ushers me into the x-ray room, and I’m positioned like a mannequin in an all-too-awkward department store display—arms up, one leg out, trying not to look like I’m auditioning for a bizarre yoga class. I strike a pose that says, “Yes, I’m totally cool with this,” while the tech snaps away, probably wondering if I’ve ever lifted anything heavier than a cupcake.

Twenty minutes later, I get the news that could rock my world (and possibly my arm) – “You might have a broken arm!” Oh, splendid! Just what I wanted to hear before my big adventure. I can already picture the headlines: “Local Woman Attempts to Ski with a Broken Arm – Hilarity Ensues!”

So here I am, caught in the hilariously absurd world of medical oversight, shoulder dilemmas, and a possibly bumpy trip ahead. But hey, if nothing else, at least my misadventures will make one heck of a story when I get back! Time for MRI to verify. That task is for another day. 

Later at the storage unit, I was, a self-proclaimed superhero on a mission. I had promised one of my besties that I would brave the treacherous terrain of my storage unit to rescue her a pink old-fashioned framed bicycle. You know, the kind that practically begs to be ridden while wearing a vintage dress and binge-watching old-timey movies? I even bought a brand-new basket for it at Walmart because, let’s face it, every bike deserves a sweet little basket—preferably one filled with snacks!

Now, I’ve got a shoulder that’s “possibly broken,” and by that I mean I can’t quite remember if I should be using it to lift things or if I should be treating it like a delicate piece of China that should only be admired from a distance. But, hey, what’s a minor injury in the face of friendship, right? With my determination dialed up to eleven, I pushed open the storage unit door and immediately realized that rescuing the bike was going to be more of an Olympic sport than I had anticipated.

There were a maze of boxes that could rival any labyrinth, an elliptical machine that was clearly plotting its revenge for being neglected, and there, in the distance, just to the left of everything else, lay the bike—pristine and patient, yet completely unreachable. Naturally, I thought, “Why not climb over all of that like I’m scaling Mount Everest?” So, there I went, fumbling and tumbling, attempting to balance the grace of a gazelle and the agility of a sloth.

Against all odds, I managed to hoist the bike out, one wheel at a time, like some sort of awkward, one-armed magician. Ta-da! With that glorious moment behind me, I grabbed the bike rack from my trunk, ready for the grand finale, only to discover I had the wrong vehicle for it. Classic! It was like trying to put a square peg in a round hole—frustratingly funny and utterly pointless.

But fear not! I’m resourceful, folks. I promptly whipped out some tie-downs and went to work, wrapping the bike around my tire like it was a lifeline in a crisis, praying it would survive the journey to my mother-in-law’s house. Because let’s be honest, if you’re going to have a bike adventure, it might as well be a comedy of errors, right?

And so, off I went—the madcap bicycle rescuer—on my slightly inconvenient but hilariously memorable quest, proving once again that friendship, much like my shoulder, may come with a few bumps and bruises, but is totally worth it! Cannot actually bring it back with the two hour drive but that too is for another day. 

Back at Sharon’s, I found myself in a bit of a pickle—or maybe more like a moldy sandwich—because, you see, I was on a quest for rest that day. You know the feeling: that hazy cloud of exhaustion looming over you? Well, mine was turbocharged by a severe lack of morning coffee and the ticking time bomb of an empty stomach. As I rummaged through my mother-in-law’s pantry, I was greeted by a lineup of expired goodies—nothing spells “gourmet” like a can of peaches from 1998. And let’s not even talk about the fridge; it looked like a science experiment gone rogue. 

So, I decided to lay down for what I hoped was a brief respite, but my two Brittany Spaniels had other plans. Furry little tornadoes, bouncing off the walls like caffeinated bunny rabbits, demanding to be let in and then immediately out again. It was an exhausting game of canine double-dutch. Finally, just as I was about to lose my mind (and maybe my sanity), Laura walked in like a superhero with a cape made entirely of hunger-induced rage. 

“Why is there nothing to eat in this house?” she chastised, clutching her stomach like it was an old friend. Turns out she was just as famished as I was. We chatted for a bit, and it became abundantly clear that while her hunger reached epic proportions, I had a pressing engagement of my own: cocktails and appetizers awaited me at a local bar with a friend who probably wasn’t going to entrust me with food supplies anytime soon. 

But first, I had a wardrobe malfunction to address. My shirt, which had valiantly served as my armor while battling the bicycle in the storage unit, was now more of a “before” picture in a hot mess transformation video. I whipped out a new shirt from Laura’s stash that read, “I hate mornings,” brushed through my hair like a missile missing its destination, and scrubbed my hands and face as if I were preparing for a royal audience. 

Then, off to the bar I went! The next three hours were a delightful blur—nothing but laughter, good drinks, and enough appetizers to keep my dignity intact. I left feeling like a new person, shaken but not stirred, ready to tackle whatever disaster awaited me back at home.

On the way home, stumbling through daylight savings time like a disoriented bat flying upside down in a power line. It’s around 7:30 PM, and the sun has decided to play hide and seek, leaving me in a race against the creeping darkness in Wiley, Texas. As I navigate the streets, I’m getting a front-row seat to the annual “Traffic Jam Olympics.” Cars are bumper to bumper, and you’d think they were lining up for a concert instead of trying to get home.

Now, I approach a three-way stop. Do I turn left? You betcha! That’s home sweet home waiting for me. But wait… here’s the kicker: Elizabeth’s gargantuan black dog, Scooby, is riding shotgun. And let me tell you, this dog is so black and so big, I half expect him to start munching on the dashboard like it’s a buffet. He completely blocks the window, and I’m convinced he’s a secret agent trained in stealth mode.

To add a sprinkle of chaos to my already hilarious scenario, unbeknownst to me, the town sheriff is cruising toward me like a predator stalking its prey. I pull out into traffic, and it’s like I’ve just thrown a wrench into the gears of the universe. I can practically hear the dramatic music playing in the background as the sheriff narrowly avoids a collision worthy of a Hollywood action scene.

Before I can even stammer out an apology (which would probably sound like “I’m sorry, officer, my dog is a ninja”), I’m greeted by an impressive roster of six cop cars—flashing lights and sirens blaring like they’ve just entered the Super Bowl halftime show. Seriously, these cars could light up the whole town. I’m parked in my shiny new Bronco, and it feels like those police lights are auditioning for a role in a Broadway musical.

There I was, enjoying what I thought was an peaceful drive, when suddenly, my world turned into the set of a low-budget cop drama. 4 to 6 cop cars, all with lights flashing like they were auditioning for a rave party, and at least 10 officers doing their absolute best to look serious while watching every car that dared to drive by in what felt like a ridiculous parade of embarrassment.

Then, out of the blue, a cop—whose height could only be described as “vertically challenged”—approached my vehicle. I like to think we looked like a cartoon duo: the tall guy in the car and the short cop on a power trip. He leaned in, asked for my driver’s license and insurance, and I handed them over with a smile that was a little too eager. 

Next, things took a turn for the suspicious. “Do you have a concealed carry?” he asked, followed by an avalanche of questions. I began to wonder if this was an interrogation or if I had accidentally stumbled into a very unusual episode of “Cops.” 

But wait! I had a 70-pound dog who apparently thought the front seat of my car was a luxury hotel suite. So, there I was, channeling my inner weightlifter, trying to hoist this canine behemoth out of the vehicle while simultaneously plotting strategies to corral my bouncing Brittany Spaniel puppies into a semblance of order. Spoiler alert: there is no ‘order’ when you’re dealing with puppies fueled by the chaos of a cramped car ride and a long afternoon locked in a tiny city house. And I had to accomplish all this with a left broken shoulder. 

Then came the big one: “Were you at a party?” My heart raced faster than my last attempt at jogging. Where was he going with this? Suddenly, it dawned on me—this guy thought I was drunk! As if I’d been partying like it was 1999 and somehow just drifted into traffic, nearly giving the city sheriff a new paint job. 

So there I stood, trembling like a leaf in a hurricane while they meticulously conducted the sobriety test. I was convinced I’d end up a TikTok sensation for all the wrong reasons. After what felt like an eternity—did I mention I was shaking like a maraca?—they finally concluded I was just a bewildered citizen, not a wild party animal. 

Sure, my friend and I had shared a cocktail earlier that day, but come on—it was at 3 PM! Not exactly prime time for debauchery. There I was, left a little shaken (but definitely not stirred), vowing to avoid any sudden detours through high-stakes traffic zones in the future. 

Now, let’s talk about my three dogs. My daughter’s dog, bless its aging heart, is lounging in the front seat like a retired celebrity, blissfully unaware of the chaos. Meanwhile, the other two are in full panic mode, pacing back and forth like they’ve just been caught in a game of musical chairs. Every heavy pant and frantic shuffle adds to the absurdity of it all.

My daughter’s boyfriend is a self-appointed “Dog Snack Connoisseur.” One fateful day, he discovered that our dogs went absolutely bonkers for freeze-dried sardines. I’m talking tail-wagging, high-pitched yelping, and an enthusiastic dance routine that would put any Broadway show to shame. 

The moment I open that bag? It’s like a scene out of a doggy movie – they come barreling towards me as if I’ve summoned the Treat Gods. It’s a glorious sight, truly. But here’s the catch, folks: when you’re standing next to them, all that excitement releases a rather… shall we say, “fishy” consequence. Yes, we are talking about “fish farts.” 

Just my dogs and their delightful, odoriferous aftermath. Fast forward an hour of keen questioning, and when I finally plopped back into my brand new, shiny Bronco, it was like stepping onto a New York fisherman’s wharf! It was so bad that they probably thought we were smuggling sardines or plotting a seafood buffet!

I rolled my eyes, cranked up the car, and couldn’t help but chuckle to myself. “Just another catastrophe in my already horrible day!” I thought, as I drove down the road smelling like a maritime disaster. Somehow, I’m pretty sure I got the short end of the stick on this one. But hey, at least my dogs are living their best life – one fish fart at a time!

Finally, I arrived and pulled in the garage door, victorious yet slightly frazzled, and decided it was time to text everyone I had informed I was taking a sobriety test. Talk about an overreaction—worried them for nothing, stressed myself for nothing, and suddenly here I was, guilt-ridden and hopelessly in need of sleep. 

It was 10 o’clock, and my energy levels had dwindled to that of a sloth on a lazy Sunday. All I wanted was to dive face-first into my pillow… but my dogs had different plans. Oh sure, they felt like competing in the canine Olympics, sprinting around the yard like Olympic sprinters on energy drinks, zigzagging through the house like little furry tornadoes. I mean, had they not just spent half the day cooped up like furry prisoners? Apparently, “playtime” was their idea of a solid life decision—while my idea was more along the lines of “ahh, sweet, sweet sleep.” 

After what felt like an eternity of canine cardio, a calming conversation with my husband settled my nerves. With a deep breath and a slight grin (because let’s be honest—we both know I’d never win the ‘ultimate pet parent’ award), I finally drifted off. Turns out, there’s nothing quite like the tumult of puppy energy to remind you that it’s never too late for a good laugh… even if it is at your own expense!

And that, my friends, is the story of how a one September day took a detour into an episode of Law & Order.

Inspiration, Uncategorized

Let’s Discuss Gender Bias

Reba Nietert

Gender Biased Laws: Exclusion of Women and Preferential Treatment of Men since 1940. This means your direct lineage has had to endure female oppression in their lifetime.

It is essential to acknowledge the existence of laws that historically excluded women while conferring preferential treatment to men. This list explores some of the legislations, regulations, and practices that perpetuated gender bias against women, focusing on laws enacted since 1940. By shedding light on these discriminatory practices, we aim to raise awareness of past injustices, promote equality, and emphasize the importance of ongoing efforts to ensure equal rights for all.

Employment Discrimination: Many laws and workplace practices between 1940 and present day have favored men over women. Examples include laws permitting preferential hiring of men for certain positions, regulations forbidding women from specific job roles, and a gender pay gap that persists despite legal advances. These discriminatory measures limited women’s access to equal employment opportunities and career advancement. In my lifetime I’ve lost countless shortage of positions due to the fact I did not have a penis and couldn’t use the men’s athletic facilities.

Inheritance and Property Laws: Numerous jurisdictions enforced laws that favored male inheritance rights over female heirs. These laws often granted men the right to inherit and own property, while women faced restrictions or were denied these rights altogether. Such practices perpetuated gender inequity in the transmission of wealth and property. Not until the 1980’s was a woman allowed to buy a mortgage for a home without a man’s signature and it was frowned upon until the 2000’s.

Political leadership: I often hear men argue that leadership should be awarded to the best “person” for the job. But why must it always be a man? Allow me to challenge that notion. If we find ourselves in a situation where both candidates are men and neither is suitable for the role, why can’t we consider a woman? Why has a woman never held the highest office in our country? And why did it take hundreds of years for a woman to finally become vice president?

The truth is, women in leadership face relentless criticism. They are scrutinized for their appearance, their speech patterns, their word choices, and even the style of their hair. Meanwhile, their performance and ideals are often sidelined and ignored. On the other hand, men are only praised for their performance, and no one seems to care about their looks. This bias is deeply unfair. It perpetuates a system that overlooks and undervalues the incredible talent, intelligence, and capabilities that women bring to the table.

Marriage Laws: In some regions, marriage laws introduced during this period reinforced male dominance within the institution of marriage. Provisions such as the concept of marital power, which granted the husband authority over his wife’s legal and financial decisions, perpetuated gender imbalances and limited women’s autonomy within marriage. Men were allowed to say wives were crazy. Women were restricted to specific attire. In today’s culture women are shamed for being too thin, too fat, too tall, to masculine, too independent, to lazy, etc.

Voting Rights: While significant progress was made to secure women’s suffrage in the early 20th century, certain jurisdictions implemented laws or practices that impeded women’s access to voting rights. These included impediments such as literacy tests, poll taxes, and stringent registration requirements, creating barriers that particularly targeted women of marginalized communities. Since the 1960’s we’ve been trying to pass the Equal Rights Amendment but to date it’s still on the floor for vote. This might eliminate men taking our trophies ladies!

Family Law: Throughout the period, family laws often exhibited gender bias, favoring men in various aspects. For instance, laws granting child custody primarily to fathers, regardless of the best interests of the child, undermined women’s rights as equal parents. Prioritizing men in divorce proceedings further exacerbated inequities by granting them greater financial support and control over assets.

Military Service: Some countries enforced laws that required compulsory military service solely for men, while exempting women from such obligations. As a result, women were denied the opportunity to serve their country and gain the associated benefits and opportunities available to men in terms of career advancement and other military-related privileges.

Social Security and Pensions: Certain systems of social security and pensions have historically discriminated against women, creating disparities in retirement benefits. These discriminatory practices were often rooted in gender-based assumptions, such as considering women primarily dependent on their husbands’ financial support or undervaluing the importance of their contributions to the workforce. Today women can choose to stay home, but be careful because should you actually age, choosing to have children and not earn outside income could leave you penniless in retirement.

This list represents only a fraction of the many gender-biased laws and practices that have disadvantaged women in the last eight decades. Recognizing and rectifying past injustices is essential to building a more equitable society. By acknowledging the discriminatory laws of the past, we can strive for a future where gender-based disparities are eradicated, and equal rights and opportunities are enjoyed by all individuals, regardless of their gender.

Human Interest

The Landscape of Female Oppression: Unveiling Gender Inequities Over the Past 60 Years

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 Rebecca Nietert

Over the past six decades, significant strides have been made towards gender equality. However, female oppression has persisted as an insidious and multifaceted issue. This written hypothesis will delve into the restrictions women faced, the dependence on men, the perception of women leaders, and the contrasting criticisms they endure. By shedding light on these enduring challenges, we can contribute to the ongoing dialogue for achieving true gender parity.

Historical Restrictions on Women: Throughout history, women have faced numerous restrictions, limiting their opportunities and autonomy. Over the past 60 years, women were commonly denied access to higher education, employment opportunities, and positions of power. They were often expected to conform to traditional gender roles, prioritizing domestic responsibilities and childcare. The fight for women’s rights during this era encompassed fighting against discriminatory practices such as unequal pay, limited reproductive rights, and gender-based violence.

Throughout the formation of the United States, women experienced various forms of oppression, which eventually led to the creation of laws aimed at protecting their rights. These laws were necessary because women did not initially have the same rights as men. For instance, it wasn’t until the 1980s that women were legally allowed to purchase a home without the signature of a man.

As we delve into the list of oppressions faced by women, it becomes evident that our foremothers and ancestors played a significant role in shaping the contemporary woman we see today. Their efforts in challenging the existing norms have had a profound impact on gender equality, and their struggle should not be overlooked.

It is important to understand the historical context in which these laws were created. By acknowledging the magnitude of these injustices, we can gain a deeper appreciation for the progress made and the importance of continuing to strive for equal rights for all.

Detailed Timeline

Dependence on Men: Within patriarchal societies, women were often expected to rely on men for economic stability, legal protection, and social validation. In the not-too-distant past, women needed male consent or sponsorship to open a bank account, secure loans, or even participate in certain sports. Societal norms pressured women to prioritize marriage and motherhood, perpetuating their dependence on male counterparts for societal acceptance and support.

Perception of Women Leaders: The world’s view of women leaders has evolved slowly but perceptibly over the past 60 years. Historically, women in leadership positions faced undue scrutiny, skepticism, and resistance due to entrenched gender biases. However, today, women leaders are increasingly recognized as competent, capable, and influential. Nevertheless, gender biases still persist, and women in leadership roles continue to face double standards and biases that their male counterparts do not encounter.

Criticism of Female Leaders vs. Male Leaders: Criticism of female leaders often takes a gendered tone, focusing on appearance, emotions, and other attributes unrelated to their abilities or performance. Female leaders are frequently subjected to harsher scrutiny and more personal attacks compared to male leaders. This gender bias can undermine the reputation and effectiveness of women leaders, inhibiting their ability to enact meaningful change. Male leaders, on the other hand, tend to face criticism centered more on policy decisions or performance in their respective roles.

While progress has undeniably been made in the past 60 years, female oppression continues to persist in various forms. Women were historically denied access to education, employment, and positions of power. The reliance on men for validation and support further contributed to the gender inequalities women faced. Although perceptions of women leaders have evolved, prejudices and double standards persist, resulting in disproportionate criticism based on gender. To achieve gender equality, society must continue to challenge outdated norms, confront bias, and provide equal opportunities for women to participate and lead in various spheres. Only by dismantling the barriers of oppression can we create a more inclusive and equitable society for all.

NOTE: Of course this blog is about biological females, because any man, pretending to be one is slapping every woman in the face and her mother before her and her mothers before that signify that our fight means absolutely nothing.

https://theclassicjournal.uga.edu/index.php/2018/10/31/evolving-oppression-how-societies-keep-women-down/

Inspiration

Paint a Picture of Sheer Joy

Reba Nietert

Let me paint a picture for you, a snapshot frozen in time, capturing a moment of sheer joy and unconditional love. In this treasured photograph, I find myself beaming with a smile that stretches from ear to ear, radiating pure happiness. And who are the stars of this picture-perfect moment? Two furry companions who hold a special place in my heart – my beloved dogs.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and in this case, it certainly rings true. As I gaze upon this image, I am reminded of the deep bond I share with my canine duo. They are more than just pets; they are like children to me. These two bundles of joy have an innate ability to mirror my energy, my moods, and my happiness. When I am in their presence, a profound sense of peace envelopes me, as if their love has the power to wash away any worries or troubles.

Let me introduce them to you, for they are truly remarkable beings. One is a boy, and the other, a girl. Each possesses an intellect that never fails to astound me. Their innate curiosity and thirst for knowledge often leave me breathless with admiration. They have a way of pausing, pulling me into the present moment, and reminding me of the simple wonders that life has to offer. Love, loyalty, and an unwavering spirit of adventure – these qualities make them more than just pets; they are cherished members of my family.

In a world that can sometimes feel overwhelming, my dogs bring me endless comfort and solace. They teach me important lessons about loyalty and unwavering devotion. Their presence reminds me to savor every moment, to embrace the joy that can be found in the simplest of experiences.

Perhaps you, too, have experienced the unbreakable bond between a human and their four-legged friend. You understand the profound love and companionship that dogs can provide. It is a connection that transcends words, a language of its own that only fellow dog-lovers can truly comprehend.

So, as I look at this photo, my heart warms with gratitude. Gratitude for the happiness my dogs bring me, for the way they light up my life, and for the reminder that love knows no bounds. They are the embodiment of joy, and their presence in my life is a gift that I treasure each and every day.

In a world that can sometimes feel daunting, we all need our moments of pure bliss. For me, those moments are captured in this picture, my beaming smile a testament to the love that exists between myself and my beloved dogs.

May you, too, find the companionship and unconditional love of a furry friend. After all, in a world filled with dogs, life is just a little bit brighter.

Inspiration

Healing Beyond Hurt: Nurturing Love and Finding Peace

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 Rebecca Nietert

In life, we often encounter painful situations that challenge our ability to love and find peace within ourselves. The biblical exhortation to “love one another” sounds ideal, but what happens when someone hurts us so deeply that love becomes elusive? How do we navigate the depths of despair and reclaim our emotional well-being? In this educational blog, we will explore a step-by-step approach to healing, allowing us to rediscover love and find solace amidst the storm.

Step 1: Identify Your Emotion

When we experience profound hurt, it is crucial to recognize the emotions that arise within us. Acknowledging the pain, anger, or sorrow allows us to better understand the turbulence we feel, paving the way for healing and growth.

Step 2: List What Caused It

Take a moment to reflect on the specific incident or series of events that led to your deep pain. Identifying the cause helps us gain clarity, enabling us to address the root of our suffering.

Step 3: Identify a Trigger It’s Associated With

Often, our lingering pain is triggered by certain events or reminders of the hurtful experience. By identifying these triggers, we increase our awareness of what exacerbates our emotions and can take steps to minimize their impact on our well-being.

Step 4: Be Truthful to Your Emotion

Honesty is the foundation of emotional healing. Allow yourself to feel the pain and embrace your emotions without judgment. Suppressing or denying our feelings only prolongs the healing process. Instead, acknowledge the depth of your emotions and give yourself permission to experience them fully.

Step 5: Decide the Best Course of Action

Once you have gained clarity on your emotions and their underlying causes, it becomes imperative to decide on the best course of action. Consider seeking support from trusted friends, family, or professionals who can provide guidance and a safe space for expressing your feelings. Engaging in self-care practices, such as meditation, therapy, or engaging in creative outlets, can help foster emotional healing.

Navigating through the aftermath of deep emotional pain can be a challenging journey. However, by following these steps toward emotional maturity, we learn to embrace our emotions with honesty and compassion. Through self-reflection and seeking the support we need, we can gradually heal the wounds that have engulfed our hearts.

As we embark on this transformative path, remember that growth takes time and forgiveness—both for others and ourselves—is a process. By nurturing love within ourselves and finding peace amidst the despair, we can create a foundation for emotional well-being.

In our pursuit of healing, we may uncover newfound strength, resilience, and an even greater capacity to love genuinely. Let us embark on this journey together, walking hand in hand toward a life filled with peace, forgiveness, and the restoration of love.

Click for more info:

https://mediatorsbeyondborders.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/managing-your-triggers-toolkit.pdf

Inspiration

The Great Tick-Flea Escapade: A Comedy of Shoe Colors and Pest Misadventures

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert

The Case of the Missing Realtor: When DIY House Hunting Takes a Comedic Turn.
Imagine our excitement as we arrived at this beautiful house near Bissonnet, only to find the realtor was nowhere to be seen. Never ones to pass up an opportunity, we decided to take matters into our own hands and explore the property ourselves. What could possibly go wrong?

With the door unlocked, we entered the house with naive enthusiasm, ready to unearth the hidden treasures that lay within. Little did we know that our innocent exploration would soon turn into a hilarious catastrophe, forever etched in our memories. As we made our way to the backyard paradise, our eyes were drawn to a pristine covered patio featuring none other than an artificial lawn. Seductive in its perfectly green allure, we couldn’t resist the temptation to step foot on this astroturf haven. Little did we know that this seemingly harmless patch of fake grass would soon become our nemesis.

Cue the comedic music! Our innocent steps onto the artificial lawn triggered a series of unexpected events. Picture a scene straight out of a slapstick comedy as we discovered the hidden dangers lying beneath that seemingly harmless surface.

The Case of the Color-Changing Shoes: It all started innocently enough, with a stroll on an artificial lawn. Little did we know that this seemingly mundane act would send us spiraling into chaos. With every step, the white tennis shoes we wore transformed into an unsightly shade of black. Confusion ensued as we exchanged bewildered glances, wondering if we had unknowingly switched footwear. But little did we realize, this was just the tip of the iceberg. Fleas were literally turning our legs black, biting as they climbed. In a flash we toppled chairs to escape the disgust both of us were feeling. We knocked over garden gnomes as be flew through the back gate. Both of us screamed with excitement when we stopped. “This reminds me…” on of us remarked.

Tick Trouble: Déjà Vu in Arkansas: Like magnets drawn to the chaos, ticks seemed to have developed a strange affinity for our company. Flashbacks of a similar infestation in Arkansas hit us like a bad punchline. They fell from the trees as we stretched our legs on the side of the road. With a sinking realization, we knew we were in trouble. The memory of desperately picking ticks off ourselves came rushing back, and we knew we needed to take immediate action.

Our canine companion, once the epitome of elegance with her white spots, was now morphing into a dalmatian-esque creature. Fleas seemed to jump from her to us, creating a symphony of discomfort and panicked swatting. The situation had officially reached peak hilarity, and we needed a plan, pronto.

Off We Go: Desperate times called for desperate measures. We piled everyone, including the dog, into our trusty red truck and sped off to the nearest store in search of salvation: pesticide. With hopes high and eyes tearing up from laughter, we acquired our ammunition and prepared for battle against the tiny, unwanted intruders.

As fate would have it, the pesticide that was meant to save the day ended up wreaking havoc on one of our party members. Poor unfortunate soul, hit by an unexpected bout of sickness, found herself banished to the truck bed. Yes, that’s right, she sat there, surrounded by pesticide and her loyal, yet audibly wailing, canine companion. Talk about a scene straight out of a slapstick comedy!

Laughter Heals All Wounds. Despite the brief moment of chaos and embarrassment, we couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. In this final chapter, we reflect on the importance of finding humor in life’s misadventures. After all, it’s these shared moments of hilarity that make memories with friends all the more precious.

And so, our ill-fated encounter with the artificial lawn became a legendary story of laughter and camaraderie. As we continue our pursuit of the perfect home, we’ll forever remember the day the astroturf turned into a comedic battlefield. May this tale serve as a reminder to embrace life’s unexpected chaos and find joy in even the most disastrous situations. Here’s to laughter, friendship, and the endless adventures that await us all!

Inspiration

“The Hilarious Misadventures of Linda and Me: A Road Trip Tale to Remember”

Reba Nietert

Copyright 2024 – Rebecca Nietert

Once upon a time, in a land far away from sensibility, two young and blissfully clueless girls embarked on what would soon become the most memorable road trip of their lives. Linda and I, armed with optimism and a knack for poor decision-making, set off on a journey that would hilariously highlight the charm of our youthful naivety. Brace yourselves, for a whirlwind of mishaps and mishaps within mishaps await you!

Wrong Turns and Mismatched Hearts:
In the realm of love, Linda and I were blindfolded navigators, continually steering ourselves towards the wrong lighthouses. Our romantic choices were like magnets to chaos, attracting disaster at every turn. Join us as we recount the comical calamities of our ill-fated dalliances, reminding us all of the importance of growth and resilience in matters of the heart.

Career Crisis and the Pursuit of Happiness:
Aptly described as the “blind leading the blind,” Linda and I embarked on a career journey that resembled a bewildered game of musical chairs. We stumbled from one ill-suited job to another, often resulting in hilariously awkward encounters and perplexing situations. Together, we will laugh through the agony of professional missteps while recognizing the invaluable lessons these experiences bestowed upon us.

Alfie the Epic Sick Pitbull:
Ah, Alfie, the canine companion that unintentionally transformed our road trip into a slapstick comedy. Witness the chaos unfold as we grapple with Alfie’s canine downers-induced sickness, leading to a disastrous pitstop in Arkansas on our way through Texarkana. From rain-soaked escapades to the relentless onslaught of nature’s showers, our misadventures will have you howling with laughter.

Speaking of rain-soaked escapades, when we let Alfie out, the tall, dense forest of trees reigned ticks from the sky. They were all over me, all over her, and all over the dog. we decided to stop at a general store on the way to pick up pesticide and get the ticks off of each other.

When we stopped at the local store, we tried to remove ticks from our hair. The ticks were jumping from one person to another, even the dog. We decided to undress and only wear our underwear. Suddenly, we noticed four men sitting on a bench, staring at us with confusion. Feeling surprised, I opened my suitcase and quickly grabbed a blanket from my suitcase. I covered myself with it and hurried into the store to buy some pesticide. I sprayed it vigorously on ourselves, the dog, and even the truck. For the next six hours, we felt nauseous as we drove back home. Upon reaching our apartment, all three of us raced into the bathroom and showered, washing off hundreds of ticks from our bodies.

Salty Soup and Other Culinary Disasters:
Fueling our road trip with culinary aspirations, Linda attempted to win hearts (and stomachs) with her homemade soup. However, her impressive seasoning skills may have gone one step too far, resulting in a salty catastrophe. Often we relive the hilarity of taste buds under siege and the predicaments that come hand-in-hand with culinary experiments gone awry. My poor brother and his father generously ate her concoction.

In this journey of youthful exuberance and questionable decision-making, Linda and I discovered the power of laughter and the importance of bouncing back from our misadventures. Life’s funniest stories often arise from our most awkward moments, reminding us to embrace our imperfections and treasure the friendships that endure. So, let us toast to the unforgettable road trip that made us wiser, stronger, and more grateful for life’s little surprises. Stay foolish, stay adventurous, and never forget to laugh along the way!