amwriting, books, fiction, Inspiration, Opinion, Reflection

Encouraging Inspiration…

When children are raised with more criticism than encouragement, discrimination, abuse, neglect, loathing, or condemnation; and then suffer PTSD from violent criminal acts, that child would sooner lash out than treat others with calm grace.  When a toxic parent (I hate that word) uses a long list of arsenal built over time such as lying, judging, abuse, using shame, manipulation, abandonment, humiliation and also criticisms to establish control over you, it’s not okay.  

Christians must understand they are to revere parents. To respect despite how they act, the words they use, or how they lead their lives.  In this difficulty, that many struggle with behavioral challenges they find increasingly difficult to navigate through.  This concept is good in theory from a Proverbs 31 woman or a man raised with Timothy, but become increasingly difficult with a parent who falls extremely short of that kind of maturity.  Nonetheless, it is still called us.   

The negative behaviors that cause emotional damage are designed to control a child’s behavior but deliver merely doubt for their own importance, their worth, that they are deserving of love, of approval, of validation and that they are insignificant.  To be taught that God loves above all rubies and jewels are merely words to these children.  The concept of such love is so foreign that they live their lives in utter confusion. 

It does not matter the depth of love you have for someone, if they remain broken and unwilling to change their brokenness, they will only continue to damage you from the inside out.  No amount of self-reflection nor explanation will fix the brokenness inside you. So to keep the relationship you love intact, you must come to terms with the truth that you may need to understand appropriate boundaries, you must understand that you will be the stronger one and that the pain they cause may bubble up from time to time.  So do not flog yourself over weakness for the choice to love them despite their actions, because that is quite a strength.  Put up an emotional forcefield and allow their comments to bounce off you.  

You may have been led to believe that you’re not lovable, smart enough, beautiful enough, capable or funny enough, or for that matter enough of anything. You may get an onslaught of well-armored attacks on you, but do not let that faze you.  Own only the mistakes you make. Do not personalize someone else’s inability to take responsibility for their own actions.  That will only cause you more anguish and suffering.  Allow them to sit in their contempt as you break the bondage of their emotional control over you.  That’s the best thing you can do for yourself. 

My suggestion is for you to write down that which holds you back.

  1. What do the challenges that get in your way look like?  Use facts!
  2. Next to the emotion you’re challenging, write what that’s costing you.
  3. Then write the emotion you want to replace the harmful ones. 
  4. Find ways to refocus your mind on the positive in your life. 

Thoughts drive feelings, feelings become actions and actions define our character.  Just write one or two to get started, and pretty soon the fog will clear and you will begin to feel how precious you are to those who love you, and how precious you are to you.  It is extremely challenging to alter your perspective simply by forcing your mind to focus on the good, but it can be done. This holiday season I wish that for you.  That and all the blessings that were always intended for you before you were born. May this give you some healing. 

Clubs

Lone Star Writer’s Club

I originally created a group through Meetup.com called Bayou Writer’s Club. When Jennifer (my sister in law) got sick, I had to give the reigns to Lisa Herrington. She’s elevated the numbers past the 100 mark I had into the over 200+ member mark.  I’m so happy for her and the group. When I had to move to Dallas the loss of the inspiration from that group hurt deeply.  I struggled with an opportunity of time that will allow me to begin a new group here in the Plano area.  Today I am proud to announce that now is that time. I finally created a group where I control the dates of when we meet to allow for the dramatic ups and downs of caregiving for someone with cancer allows.

With all that said, I am hosting my first meeting for Lone Star Writer’s Club here in Plano at the Meetup.com site for DFW.  If you’re inspired to tell your own story, establish a writing platform, write for fun, get published or whatever your writing goals are, I hope that you join me.

My Work

The Art of Writing

The first process of my writing is to figure out what I want to write about. I brainstorm about the things that I am passionate about. People are my number one priority. For some people, financial success is the goal. For some others, it can be as simple as a diet book to lose weight. For me, however, it’s all about how to understand the actions of the people around me. I ask a lot of questions and analyze my hypothesis over and over. Believe it or not, my conclusions modify over time, as I begin to learn more about myself, and about other people in my life.

We have a unique opportunity today with social media to be persuasive in our beliefs. We have the ability to get the written word out more than ever before. There’s Facebook, WordPress Blogs, My Space if you’re older, Snap Chat, Websites, commentary on articles, contacting Editors who produce magazines or newspapers, and a whole eclectic group of opportunities. Our voice can be heard. Do you have something you want to say? Do you have a teacher or a principal that you’d like to say something to? Maybe something you would like changed? Maybe something that you don’t think is fair? Writing is a great way to do that.

There are many Elements that create Effective Persuasive Writing. Each element takes specific steps to generate the expected outcome. “What does this mean?”

One element is what is your position?: Writers need to clearly state their positions on their topics in order to persuade their readers. If a writer is not clear about his/her beliefs on the topic, s/he stands little chance of convincing someone else to read the material. In addition, some writers collaborate and write together. When writers collaborate on a persuasive piece of writing, all involved must agree to support the same position. Sometimes writers even take a position they do not personally agree with and work to explain that position.

A very important element is Research/Attracting Attention to Audience: Writers need to adjust their writing based on their audience. This is called Genre. My genre is young adult/women’s literary work. This is especially true when the goal of the writing is to persuade the reader to take action. The writing style will be formal when the audience is a person in a position of authority and casual when the audience is a friend or family member. My work is in first person dialog with a narrative. A narrative for those who do not know, is when someone is telling the story. It combines a first person point of view with a third person point of view. So, my work is from the narrator, (me) and then the characters in the book.

It’s important to note that if you write a book that takes place back in the 1980’s, there are unique identifiers that cannot be in the work. One of those is cell phones. Believe it or not many of us didn’t have a cell phone until the early 1990’s. Every writer makes sure that their story is believable if it is fiction and if not it is outlines with a ton of facts to support their story.

Non-Fiction Factual Support: In order to be convincing, a persuasive piece of writing needs to include factual details. Some factual support is (data, anecdotes, interviews, information from other sources such as newspapers and books, and so forth). It’s best to use our own experiences and observations as factual support for their persuasive letters.

Effective Word Choice: Persuasive language is strong but appropriate. Writers need to choose words that are also descriptive and specific. An excellent example of effective word choice is Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech.

Ethos: Ethos is the credibility to write. Discuss what gives a particular writer credibility to write a persuasive piece of writing. Doctors are credible, and degreed professionals are credible. In my opinion, the best Ethos of writing is experience. How does one get experience? By reading, the practice of writing, the practice of sharing your writing. People will comment, criticize and all those things will improve the way that you write.