Inspiration, Reflection

Making Difficult Changes

Today we put an offer on a home that doesn’t feed into the school system the kids are in. I have mixed feelings. For months since school began this semester both girls pleaded with me to reinvent themselves somewhere where people didn’t know their back story. I have been tortured with this decision.

Their mom, Jen, built a beautiful city of amazing mom’s I truly connected with. I wish we could have become closer friends but that never happened. Partly because I was absent a lot or flying by the seat of my pants when I was here. Partly because everyone has an opinion of the choices I make and sadly they don’t think I’m making the right ones.

It’s hard to be under such a microscope. One is gifted, two have very special needs. Add local family drama and a whole slew of brand new modifications to their little worlds and you have one exhausted guardian.

I wish I could reassure those who say bring them to God, he’ll fix it. I’ve taught them the story of Jesus and will continue. To the ladies who forever wonder about their academic success, I’m paying attention. They’ve got A’s and B’s. To the people who question their state of mind, they see professionals. To the ones who fret about their loss; please know they’re so very loved. They want for nothing.

Sami rides horses. She and I do yoga. Laura plays piano and dances in addition to preparing for cross country. Brandon has 4 activities outside of school and many inside. Each child has 100% of my attention and focus on making them productive and happy adults.

I wish I could be the woman that others feel free to just be themselves around. I wish I could have kept what Jen created going. I’m not, and I know that my focus should be on building the village. I’m just so focused on keeping my family close, inclusion, tolerance, kindness and all the motivators and numerous activities that teach that.

When you hear about me moving them, before you judge me for my choices, put yourself in my shoes. There’s no way you could possibly know the daily struggles without knowing me. What you read on FB, or Twitter or see in a snap is a moment in the window of our complicated lives. We’re all just trying to get through the day.

If you’d like to remain friends ladies, please reach out. My life is overwhelmed with duty and I could really use some gal pals right about now! I’m always listening.

My Work

The Art of Writing

The first process of my writing is to figure out what I want to write about. I brainstorm about the things that I am passionate about. People are my number one priority. For some people, financial success is the goal. For some others, it can be as simple as a diet book to lose weight. For me, however, it’s all about how to understand the actions of the people around me. I ask a lot of questions and analyze my hypothesis over and over. Believe it or not, my conclusions modify over time, as I begin to learn more about myself, and about other people in my life.

We have a unique opportunity today with social media to be persuasive in our beliefs. We have the ability to get the written word out more than ever before. There’s Facebook, WordPress Blogs, My Space if you’re older, Snap Chat, Websites, commentary on articles, contacting Editors who produce magazines or newspapers, and a whole eclectic group of opportunities. Our voice can be heard. Do you have something you want to say? Do you have a teacher or a principal that you’d like to say something to? Maybe something you would like changed? Maybe something that you don’t think is fair? Writing is a great way to do that.

There are many Elements that create Effective Persuasive Writing. Each element takes specific steps to generate the expected outcome. “What does this mean?”

One element is what is your position?: Writers need to clearly state their positions on their topics in order to persuade their readers. If a writer is not clear about his/her beliefs on the topic, s/he stands little chance of convincing someone else to read the material. In addition, some writers collaborate and write together. When writers collaborate on a persuasive piece of writing, all involved must agree to support the same position. Sometimes writers even take a position they do not personally agree with and work to explain that position.

A very important element is Research/Attracting Attention to Audience: Writers need to adjust their writing based on their audience. This is called Genre. My genre is young adult/women’s literary work. This is especially true when the goal of the writing is to persuade the reader to take action. The writing style will be formal when the audience is a person in a position of authority and casual when the audience is a friend or family member. My work is in first person dialog with a narrative. A narrative for those who do not know, is when someone is telling the story. It combines a first person point of view with a third person point of view. So, my work is from the narrator, (me) and then the characters in the book.

It’s important to note that if you write a book that takes place back in the 1980’s, there are unique identifiers that cannot be in the work. One of those is cell phones. Believe it or not many of us didn’t have a cell phone until the early 1990’s. Every writer makes sure that their story is believable if it is fiction and if not it is outlines with a ton of facts to support their story.

Non-Fiction Factual Support: In order to be convincing, a persuasive piece of writing needs to include factual details. Some factual support is (data, anecdotes, interviews, information from other sources such as newspapers and books, and so forth). It’s best to use our own experiences and observations as factual support for their persuasive letters.

Effective Word Choice: Persuasive language is strong but appropriate. Writers need to choose words that are also descriptive and specific. An excellent example of effective word choice is Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech.

Ethos: Ethos is the credibility to write. Discuss what gives a particular writer credibility to write a persuasive piece of writing. Doctors are credible, and degreed professionals are credible. In my opinion, the best Ethos of writing is experience. How does one get experience? By reading, the practice of writing, the practice of sharing your writing. People will comment, criticize and all those things will improve the way that you write.

Inspiration

Empowering Women to Love

Often I am reminded of even my own sinned thoughts and actions. The other day a woman with an ill-behaved child was near me and I found myself rolling my eyes thankful that I raised my kids where a firmer understanding created that necessary fear that made my kids behave. Then I thought about it. I am what I tell other women not to be … A judger. Not only that but a … condemner.

I feel that women should take the world “Judgement” out of their vocabulary! Frankly it’s for men to do not us. We have a right to formulate an opinion about something and then it is our DUTY to encourage each other to change our perspective to “LOVE” rather than hate and HELP the woman out. Judgement = Opinion… so let’s use the right word.

Condemning is when you elevate your worth over someone else. That’s what I did. Yep, that was me. It’s not okay. I should have walked over to the overstressed and frazzled mom and offered help. This is my area of expertise. Merely by acting I could be teaching the woman who obviously doesn’t possess those talents. Maybe she’s an awesome lawyer, or housekeeper, or she loves everyone unconditionally? I will never know because I never offered to help. Not once, didn’t even think about it.

I wonder, how many times does Jesus ask us to love our fellow man? How many people has he put in front of us and wanted us to make them feel connected, wanted, appreciated, cared for? How many times have WE DENIED HIM because of our own hatred, condemnation, selfishness, need for elevation…?? Pretty scary when you think about it that way isn’t it?

Today I encourage you to pause. STOP for a brief minute and actually listen to someone who might need you to lift them up! If we can encourage one woman, to encourage another woman, and lift each other up, then we can create love that will affect every home in America. It starts with you today. What will YOU choose? Love? Doing what Jesus asks or going your own way? It’s always up to you. God Bless!

Inspiration, Opinion

A mother’s plea-leave mine alone!

There’s no kind of heartache that can match what happens when you see your child or someone you love about to hit head on into something that is going to end badly. Whether it’s drugs, or friends, or choices or mates; it hurts to watch them grow through some pretty painful human things that young people go through.

You want so badly to shout, “STOP” but they won’t. You want to define the hurt, to identify it for them and give them a path to either get through it, or avoid it altogether. That doesn’t work. The only thing you’re left with is an undeniable sense of powerlessness.

There’s no advice, no words, no wisdom, no mercy that will be accepted or even considered. They will undeniably come to education or experience all on their own without your incredibly unwanted help.

For all those people who would come into my life, I want to scream at you, “Knock it off!” Stop the drama, the conflict, the chaos, the manipulation, the games, the toil and the turmoil and just leave me and mine without you. Just go away. Just take whatever that makes you feel good when you do evil things and move on down the road. Just be done with us.

Some say that people (even I do) are both good and evil. That people are basically great and they do bad things, but what about those people who wake and think negative. They always have an angle, they’re always looking for someone to control, to overpower, to use, to manipulate for their bidding? What bout those broken people? Are they the ones you need to throw out of your life?

I have learned in my long life that people do change. They are capable and that I myself have been what I call a manipulating person. I certainly don’t even think I could do that today if I wanted to but I can recall a far away youth that presented those opportunities that sadly I took advantage of. I hear my hypocrisy on the issue, but to my credit; although admitted, decided one day to take a change… and switch. Deny what was and move into a more thankful being. Because I got the help I needed. I truly believe when they do too, the end result will be either loving and generosity or unforgiveness and bitterness. It will be there choice.

The thing with time is it takes time for this butterfly effect to happen. In the meantime, my children will be in harms way and potentially broken. As the doctor’s say, you cannot fix broken people by loving them more. They have to want to be fixed. They have to want that They have to want that. Yes, I am repeating myself. The people I’ve met don’t even think they have a problem. I find that so heartbreaking…

Inspiration

Security is a gift….

What many people don’t know about this girly “I love all things pink” girl is that I am basically a deep down tomboy. I love to fish, I love to camp and I love cars. Fast cars. Few understand that heart pumping, adrenaline rush that you get when you think about the hot throttle of something you know is faster than the wind. One year my boss Peggy Keckler (I sold cars for a living) insisted that I go to a track with other salespeople and learn to drive very fast with the help of professional race drivers like Lyn St. James. This way when the Lincoln Mark 8 came out, we could sell it because we compared it to the Toronado, the LC400 and the Eldorado. The race drivers were so hysterical. The guys that were in my car were so timid and then it was my turn. I got behind the wheel and did just what she said and I was doing it! I wasn’t afraid at all. Around the cones and the car literally lowered to hug the road in the curves. Of course I loved the wood grain on a Cadillac so as a girlie that was the Fav for me….but if I were a dude and wanted cockpit design and pure performance, I would go for that Mark 8 for sure! It was easy to sell after that. Today, I still love being behind the wheel. The traffic might congest a bit but if I am REALLY stressed, a great plug in IPhone one hour trip on the open country road still does the trick. The power and performance of a vehicle you love and trust = Priceless. That’s the security that we want to get with people…and sometimes those things are hard to come by. We see it on TV and we want that so much. We need that. It’s harder to have than it appears because people judge, convict and disparage. Once you find someone to share your time who doesn’t….treasure that. That’s a once in a lifetime friend. Remember people are fallible. If you can get through that and past all the things that aren’t just like you, you can begin to aspire to learning more of who they are…and that will feel just like the adrenaline of driving a fast race car. I promise.